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Girl crush? or more?

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Different, Dec 19, 2013.

  1. Different

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    Hey guys!

    It's been a while since I last posted but here goes! So I think I have a crush on this girl in my grade. It's the girl who asked me in math class freshmen year if I was a lesbian.

    I think she's straight because she always tweets about how perfect that guy from the Hunger Games is. At the same time she always quotes country songs and lyrics that have a female subject. By this I mean: "I wanna hold her tight and never let her go." Ugg she's just so pretty and I can't stop thinking about her. Anytime I can steal a look at her I do.

    Anyway, my real question is... when does a straight girl girl crush become a lesbian crush? Is there a line? Please share your stories/insights.
     
  2. BookDragon

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    What does that even mean?

    Are you asking if she has a crush on you...? What on earth is a "straight girl girl crush"
     
  3. Different

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    I'm not asking if she likes me. I guess to re-phrase. When do you know that a girl crush is more romantic than just another girl admiring another girl.
     
  4. elwood123

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    When you want to do something with them or when the feelings for her become more than any feelings you've had for a guy. I don't really know, I guess its something you know and can feel. There is the possibility that you're bicurious but again I don't know, only you can decide :slight_smile:
     
  5. Ibz

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    Ah, I totally understand what you're saying. Sometimes it's hard to tell the difference between a "I want to be her friend" crush or a "I want to be like her" crush and a "real" crush. I personally was so confused and tangled up that I had no idea what a crush felt like at all. When I was trying to figure myself out, so many internet sources and quizzes and such would ask questions like "do you like girls?" and it really wasn't useful because I had no idea what "like" meant.

    Really, the first person I was ever sure I liked was the girl who later became my girlfriend (and still is.) It took me a while to really understand that I indeed had a crush on her and that it wasn't just a "friend crush." (I call them friend crushes because I certainly don't limit them to girls.) But some things that contributed to finally knowing was that I couldn't stop thinking about her, I wanted to be around her all the time, I really wanted to be close to her, and the thought of her possibly dating someone else made me really sad. I think it was this last one that really convinced me. We were (and still are) really good friends, so if I hadn't had a crush crush on her, I think I would have *wanted* her to be happy in a relationship with someone who wasn't me. Right?

    Also contributing to my confusion was that I was very confused about my sexuality at the same time. My girlfriend and I like to talk about something we call "levels." On one level, you can totally think you might have a mega crush on a girl, but on another level you still think of yourself as straight or ace or otherwise not girl-liking. Now, I don't know whether you have a crush on this girl or not, but that might be one factor that's making things extra confusing.

    What helped me figure out whether I liked her or not was eliminating that variable by "pretending" I was gay. I would just think, "okay, I'm gonna be gay for the next day" (or hour or week, it varied.) I would act like I always act and dress like I always do, but I would just mentally pretend I was gay and sure of it. You know, I would look for cute girls on the subway and stuff, or I would imagine holding my crush's hand as I walked down the street. I found that, for me, it felt less like pretending and more like living.

    Now, I don't know what it would have felt like if I didn't actually have a crush on her, so I guess I can't help you all the way. But whatever the case, I wish you luck!
     
  6. bdpotter

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    Yeah i kind of did the same thing at first while trying to figure out myself.

    As for the Different's problem, when you look at this girl, do you want to kiss her, do you see yourself in a relationship with her, or maybe be intimate with her ?
     
  7. Different

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    Wow Thank you for your help!

    ---------- Post added 15th Jan 2014 at 09:48 PM ----------

    Yeah. I really want to be around her all the time. But I'm nervous about talking to her. I get nervous when she looks in my direction. It's weird because I've never felt this way about anyone before... girl or guy.
     
    #7 Different, Jan 15, 2014
    Last edited: Jan 15, 2014