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Going to leave a letter for my mum. Need some advice.

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Sully, Dec 24, 2013.

  1. Sully

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    So me, my mum and my sister just got into a bit of a fight over her partners homophobic comments. There were some other family there who said we were being really rude and disrespectful. The irony hit me so hard. My grandma was saying how rude and insulting we were being... Just after she'd finished slagging about how bullshit gay marriage was.

    (Just started crying as I write this :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:)

    I just can't do this anymore. So I'm away for the next week and I'm going to leave a letter before I go. I really just need some advice on the things I should include/cover.

    Thanks :slight_smile:
     
  2. Nick07

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    Hi, how are you? Have you another place to live if things go wrong? How do you expect your mother to react? Are there any other family members who know or who could back you up?
     
  3. Sully

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    I'm in a pretty good position, I'm not going to get kicked out, my sister knows and she has her own house, so yeah I'm not to worried about any backlash.
     
  4. Nick07

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    That's good!

    Try to think about what you want to achieve. To inform her? To have her acceptance? The tone of your letter will depend on that.

    :slight_smile:
     
  5. Sully

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    I'm ashamed to say, but to be honest I kind of want to hurt her. I'm so sick and tired of hearing the hypocracy and being hurt by their stupidity. When I challenge my mums partners homophobia they all say that I'm being rude, insensitive and upsetting my mum.
     
  6. method

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    I can't add much to Nick's concise advise, but it looks like you have a golden opportunity to be completely honest in your letter. If you're comfortable with it you can always put a draft up here (ECers make for good editors!)

    Big hugs for going through that awful argument and best for your next steps.
     
  7. Nick07

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    Hmm, don't make it a political statement :wink:

    You can say that you want to let her know that her recent arguments were not nice because she was also talking about you. And that you would either appreciate her to change her mind and views (or at least try) or to not touch the theme when you are around.

    I can understand that you are tired and want to DO something so that the things got moving.