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Coming out message I'm posting on fb need some comments

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Castlekidd, Dec 25, 2013.

  1. Castlekidd

    Castlekidd Guest

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    Bit of background, I've spent the last two years gradually coming out to myself and two mates...can't deal with the stress as it ruining Christmas so I'm posting this on fb over the holidays. Please let me know your thoughts, I'm quite well liked so hoping it goes ok but should shock most people.

    I'm posting this on fb not because I want to get likes or think everyone has to know but because its the easiest way to control my coming out without it being done through rumour and it will settle diwn by the time we are at schooL. i appreciate most of you won't care but this is preferable to getting the courage to tell my mates 1 by 1 before it erupts.
    I am happy to answer any questions to help people feel comfortable with me being gay and limit the impact of it but I will not answer questions on gay sex because I'm as experienced as a straight guy. If people are uncomfortable with it and want to post hate please don't start a fb "beef" if you disagree(although i would appreciate the support) with them because it's important people feel ok to express that discomfort so it doesn't build up in homophobia that can't they can't be helped through.
    A few of my mates expressed discomfort at the thought of gay sex, this is not homophobic and is completely understandable so will not offend me if they say that in a measured way. Equally people saying "that's so gay" won't piss me off but people saying "your a faggot" in an aggressive way will.
    Essentially the point I'm trying to get across is that yes I am gay but I'm not hypersensitive. I would rather people expressed discomfort than feigned tolerance. i will not react to any aggressive homophobia at school or on fb because fighting for peace is like fucking for virginity...
    Happy New Years,
    Thanks for reading
     
  2. SemiCharmedLife

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    You sound pretty well prepared to handle whatever comes your way. Congrats man--this takes a lot of guts!
     
  3. Robert

    Robert Guest

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    Can I just say that I have talked to a lot of people who first came out on facebook and their experiences have largely been that everyone ignored, didnt see their message or thought that it was a joke/frape.

    I hope that you have a more positive experience!

    Good luck :slight_smile:
     
  4. Castlekidd

    Castlekidd Guest

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    Might post a pic with my right ear pierced so its not ignored... Any other ideas about getting attention/stopping them think its a frape?
     
  5. Robert

    Robert Guest

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    I really have no idea :eusa_doh: :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:

    Tell us how it goes though. I'd be interested to find out. :slight_smile:
     
  6. TheUglyBarnacle

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    I got a bit confused in the middle but it's pretty clear by the end. Only thing I have an issue with is the phrase "that's so gay" being something you're not opposed to but whatever.

    You could accompany it with a picture of yours holding a piece of paper with something written on it that specifies it's not a frape/prank.
    Could be anything.. ex "Please take a moment to read the caption", "Not a prank", "Yes, gay." Etc.
     
  7. Castlekidd

    Castlekidd Guest

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    I know what you mean about "that's so gay" and it's controversial. My mate whose gay agree its not offensive in certain context (we go all boys school so were desebsitized to it i guess) but I may take it out incase others are closeted and offended. You reckon?
    Are you guys offended by it?

    ---------- Post added 25th Dec 2013 at 10:01 AM ----------

    *desensitized
     
  8. SemiCharmedLife

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    One way to make sure it's obvious it's real: post a picture of yourself holding a sign that says "I'm gay." Just an idea
     
  9. Silver Sparrow

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    The middle is kind of dense. You might want to simplify your language.
     
  10. Castlekidd

    Castlekidd Guest

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    Thanks, although I've just had a bad reception with someone who I been good friends with for 8years so think this is no longer an option for the moment:frowning2:
     
  11. emkorora

    emkorora Guest

    Heya, happy holidays.

    Sorry to be so critical but writing is an important skill and you asked for comments, so I will excuse myself.

    Your post is long. If anyone on FB is like me, they prefer reading short posts. If you want people to know you're gay, all you need is three words telling them so. Your grammar makes it difficult to take seriously, too.

    Lastly, specifically calling out your mates for what they felt may add to the tension. I am uncertain of your relationship with them, but most people dislike their thoughts being used by others to their own ends. I understand the sentiment you are attempting to share, but it can be done without quoting them.

    Anyways, just suggestions. Take them as you will.
     
  12. biggayguy

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    I posted a picture of me holding a rainbow flag on facebook. It got the message across.
     
  13. Van

    Van
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    I think this would be enough. :thumbsup:
     
  14. Robert

    Robert Guest

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    What happened?
     
  15. Castlekidd

    Castlekidd Guest

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    Emkorora: I agree but I think 3 words will look like a speedy frape and with the grammar sorry but I'm on my iPhone and dont have the energy haha:stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes: and yeh good point I won't mention that it's specifically my mates thanks!
    Biggayguy: thanks to our great education system Im not sure who would recognise it:/:stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes: think it would work at uni but not for school
    Thatlonelyguy: yeah I see your point and that would help solve the problem emkorora and sparrow point out, thanks:slight_smile:
    Thanks for the help guys honestly this is my second post and the response is great!!!
    Robert: some brief background as to why I thought it was so bad, for the past 8years he's gradually become a family member and if always looked out for him. He's an a**hole to people he doesn't know so I've lost a lot of mates standing up for him. Also his family life is bad with divorces and illnesses so I've helped him through all of that. When I told him I was gay he immediately disinvited the other gay guy to a new years party (who, if you've seen my other post, I like) because he didn't trust us not to get together. Other stuff was said along those lines and e always make jokes that all gays are rapists etc... So what hurt me most was the fact after all ive done for him I don't even have him wanting to overcome his intolerance to see me happy he would rather ostracise all homosexuals from my life and thinks its ok.
    It's the sense of betrayal, I could deal with intolerance as its understandable, and it's also set me back hugely on the path to coming out if that's the response I get from a long term friend.

    ---------- Post added 26th Dec 2013 at 02:51 AM ----------

    The others I told gave me a great response, although one was gay himself so it wa expected:stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:

    Sorry bout spelling guys, on the phone
     
  16. Richie.

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    Just private message the people you really want to know to confirm it.
     
  17. Chlo98

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    I think you've planned this really well :slight_smile: however you should privet message friends and family first otherwise they will feel like you cant trust them. Good luck :slight_smile:
     
  18. Soleil

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    agreed :slight_smile: This was plenty imo.
     
  19. Yossarian

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    The response from ONE long term friend (who sounds like he has considerable personal problems) should not be allowed to affect your own priorities. Be YOU, and let him deal with worrying about being him. "You are not your brother's keeper".