In a few weeks, I plan to tell some of my close friends that I am gender queer and confused, as they were very sympathetic when I told them I thought I was gay, and they are some of the least judgmental people I know. The problem is, I can't pick the right moment, or how to do it. Any advice? Should I leave it until I am sure where I fit on the gender spectrum? (I think I might be fluid) How should I do it?
The right moment is whenever. Treat this like something you're comfortable with, they will be more comfortable with it. Treat it like something you're scared of, and they will panic with you. When I told my best friend I think I said "Well what if I turned up (to your house) in a skirt?" he asked if that was likely to happen and I said it was. The thing about being in the questioning phase instead of being sure, is that you aren't able to say "I am X", you're saying "I MIGHT be X, or Y...Z?" On the one hand, it makes things more difficult because you can't state it as a fact (unless you say "Dudes, I'm questioning my gender!"), on the other hand it's easier because you don't HAVE to say anything conclusive. When I told a different friend I said "Yeah so I might be a girl..." and left it at that. Didn't say anything else, and it came up again later. I'm not sure if ANY of that helps because I'm very tired and feeling quite sick, so it probably isn't the clearest bit of writing I've ever done...but I HOPE it helps a bit... Just say what you feel and be confident about it. You're questioning this thing and that's all you want them to know! You can do it!
