So recently came out to 4 people as having an open sexuality something between pan and bi! 3 of them have been so supportive, but the other has kind of told a few people and been funny about it, it's different because it's the friend I wrote my first thread about on here do I guess he was naturally going to think back and associate it with my behaviour. Anyway just kind of wondering how to behave about other people finding out? I'm not particularly happy but should I take it in my stride... Deny it... Have a word with him? He's not really spoke to me since and taken it pretty badly...
Well, first, I would try and talk to him and tell him to stop being a dick. He shouldn't be telling people. But I think we both know that it's probably not going to stop him. So what if someone asks you? Well, really, is there much point in denying it? I mean it's not like you're doing anything wrong...I know it sucks to be brought out before you're ready but still...
Once you start telling people, particularly people around your age, it's nearly impossible to keep it completely under wraps, because it's just too "juicy" a piece of gossip for most people to hold onto. So I think you just have to embrace it. I don't think denial is ever good in those circumstances, because if there are people that you directly confirmed it to, and they tell to someone else who you then deny it to, the person you directly told ends up in conflict, if the person who then asks you goes back to him (if that makes sense.) It's never easy coming out, and particularly not when you trust people who then share your confidence with others... but it's pretty much a way of life when you're in school that most people won't be completely trustworthy with that sort of secret.
Everyone's cool and he's not told loads of people but he has told people about it, it's more of a leak than a dam bursting! I have family in my friendship group and not ready for it to get back to those and ultimately flip out, I'm from the UK and over here old people aren't so keen on gays. I mean my grandma accepts it's a thing and it's out of my control but she wouldn't get it, she's all for tradition! It's just how she's been brought up. I'm just wondering if you guys think it's because it's a guy I told that's been dodgy if perhaps I should not tell anymore guys directly for a while? One of my friends was talking to me earlier actually and saying he's always here for me, but I just don't want to deal with two friends been funny rather than just one! At the minute I'm so paranoid because the guy stirring trouble hasn't spoke to me and I'm getting paranoid every time someone starts a conversation, so I say "what do you know?" Or "what's new?" It's really bad haha
It won't be bad if you finish the process and come out to everybody. Then there are no more secrets, no list of who knows and who doesn't to keep track of, and no denying rumors you know to be true. You started the process when you came out to the first person. Either you are going to finish it the way you want, or other people are going to finish it for you on their own gossip schedules.
