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Is 5+ pages TOO much for a coming out letter?

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by xAlexzanderx, Dec 29, 2013.

  1. xAlexzanderx

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    I have my coming out letter to my mom (trans/homophobic).. I wanted to make sure I have every single thing I need to tell her, so far I have 5 pages,

    -Introduction (it's just saying how I've been feeling for a long time, etc.
    -Introduction part 2..
    -body Dysphoria/ Sexuality
    -How far I want to go in my transition, etc.
    -my pronouns and such..

    And there's still more I want to tell her, but is there too much?

    I'm coming out as a gay (homoflexible) transman.

    But I don't want to annoy her anymore on top of all the anger/sadness she's going to have...

    So thanks for reading..
     
  2. BookDragon

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    I wouldn't have thought so, just don't expect her to get through it all the first time round.

    Even the most accepting person is probably going to get about half way through the introduction before they have some burning questions.

    To be honest, it could be 20+ pages if that's what you need! Just be prepared to answer a lot of questions you've already answered in the letter!
     
  3. bingostring

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    That's quite a lot for her to digest in one reading..
    It might be OK though - you know her best.

    But maybe review it .. and if there's anything that can be shortened, or left to another day, you could just think about that !

    Very best of luck !!
     
  4. biggayguy

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    I think she will feel overwhelmed just by your sexual identity and orientation. Honestly I would try to edit some of it out. Maybe you could write a second letter later.
     
  5. TwoMethod

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    I think biggayguy is right.

    There is a phrase: "I would have written a shorter letter but I didn't have the time."

    I would suspect that maybe half of it is unnecessary and your message could come across better if you took some of it out.

    The most powerful letter is one that is concise, uses no unnecessary language and gets the message across without delving into any particular area. I think maybe explaining how you plan to transition and that process is probably too much for a coming out letter.

    If you would like to post the letter or perhaps PM someone you feel comfortable with before you give it to her, I think that would be a good idea (I have no problems reading and helping you with it if you want me to help you).
     
  6. HuskyPup

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    As a person who used to write a lot of letters as a hobby, I don't find 5 pages to be very long...then again, I was an English major!

    I like the idea of your introduction, as it gives you a way to segue into matters without racing to the point; it helps show that you're still you. I'd write the letter, then take a look, and maybe make few revisions, to make it more concise. It could still be 5 pages, and I doubt she'd stop reading it halfway though.

    It may be a lot to process, but you're putting all the cards on the table, and things will work themselves out from there.

    I hope everything goes well.
     
  7. KitChan

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    I don't think it's too long at all. As long as you cover all the points you wanted to, it's perfect. If you still think it's too long, you could look for run on sentences, or anything wordy and try to condense it into something shorter.