I'll try to keep this as short as possible: a few months ago my mom started catching on to the fact that I like girls, so she started pushing me to tell her the truth about it. I didn't know yet if I was gay or bisexual, but I was honest with her that I like girls, and it didn't go well at all. She got really depressed for a couple weeks and then just pretended it never happened after that. So since then I've been preparing to come out when I want to by getting to know myself and educating myself on the issue. I have been planning to be the one to bring it up next time on my own terms, but now my mom has been acting weird again and telling me that we need to talk about what happened a few months ago. She's saying things like "I don't know who you are anymore," and is just treating me poorly. I don't want her to make me tell her things when I'm not ready again, but I'm going to have to tell her something. I don't know what to do or exactly how I feel. I just don't want her to hate me again and I hope things don't get so bad that I get kicked out. I don't know if anyone can help me but I just needed to vent so bad. Please help me if you can. Thank you.
i dont know if i can help you but sure some one can it looks like your mum is is going though the stages of loss.i dont know if talking with her is a bad thing.what would be good if you could convince her to seek help advice with this issue plag meetings etc . she needs to know your the same daughter she has always had aye.and as hard as she finds it now you should have the freedom and space to find yourself without fear of affecting your relationship with her.any way im hoping things get better for you.and my bets are she will come to accept you give her time.
Welcome to EC, Shadowboxer. You're going to find the help and support you need here, as a lot of people have gone through the very thing you're going through right now. (*hug*) I have some suggestions, but before I give them I'd like a bit more information. First, let's start with your age. Unfortunately, this is important because it's going to determine how seriously you're taken if you look for outside help. Especially since you aren't identifying as lesbian or bisexual and are still sorting things out for yourself. If you're really young, your feelings may be discounted. If you're older then they're going to have more weight. Second, can you go into a bit more detail about how your mother is treating you? There is a difference between acting weird and distant, and being deliberately hurtful. I want to fully understand the type of situation you are in, because that's going to determine the best type of advice you'll receive. Third, do you have any idea how pro-LGBT your school is - especially the administration staff? Do you know of any other adults (such as a teacher) that you can confide in? Have you ever considered speaking to your guidance councilor? Unfortunately, this is going to depend heavily on where you live, and there may be some environments in which it is unsafe to disclose what is going on. Some idea of the type of school you go to (if any - assuming you're not home schooled here), and the various types of adults outside of your family that are in your life would be very helpful. Until I know more about your mothers actions, it's too difficult to assess her motives in bringing the topic up again. Is your mother very religious, for example? I don't feel comfortable giving you any sort of advice until I know more about what is going on between you and your mother. Keep your head up. Hope you stick around here and write back soon. (*hug*)
I don't know a terrible much about your situaion, but here's what I can tell you: if/when she bring up your sexuality again, all you need to say is "I'm not ready to have a discussion like this, I'll come to you when I am ready." She might not like the answer, but tell her you want honesty above all else, and that you don't want to tell her things to satisfy her curiosity that you may want to take back later, such as telling her initially you're bi and then coming out as gay. So, just let her know you acknowledge her, but you still need time to think it all over and figure it out. And as far as her treating you poorly, what do you mean? How is she to you? And how old are you? That can change a lot of things.
