I am just so sick of my parents constantly commenting on my lack of boyfriends and always asking if there are any guys at school that I like. They are always saying that i should be dating and all that sort of stuff the worst part is that I would love to start dating- just not guys... but I don't see that happening any time soon so that makes the whole thing so much worse. Any way the other day I lost it at Mum and nutted out at her telling her that I wish she would just stop expecting things and just leave me alone. i came so close to telling her I am gay and I'm so scared that it's just going to come out one day during some argument and that will not be good. I just don't know what to do it makes me feel like crap but I know I can't tell my parents they will freak.
The only thing you need to tell your parents is that they shouldnt be asking you questions like that and make you feel unhappy. Or, you could just tell them, if they dont stop annoying you.
You could use the old chestnut... 'I don't feel ready for a relationship at the moment' and then just shrug. Whatever you do, don't come out in an argument! If and when you feel ready to tell them then do so, in your own time in your own way but in the mean time stalling tactics are good... 'I'm not ready'... without actually lying! Can you see yourself telling your parents in the near future? Parents often worry when their kids don't find b/fs or g/fs because they think they might be lonely or missing out on normal teenage intereaction, instead of going head to head with your parents, if you have a busy social life, just tell them that you do hang out a lot, that you are fine and that you haven't found SOMEONE (don't say boy) that you want to go out with. That should calm there fears. Is there something that makes you think they would react badly?
Learn from my mistake. I actually did come out in an argument. In fact, I used it as a weapon just to get my mom to shut up and stop nagging me. Did it work? Absolutely. Do I regret it? Double absolutely. So what's the remedy here? Because your situation is kinda similar to what mine was, as in you feel like you're going to burst out "I'm gay" during an argument, try and find a situation where you can tell her that, but not on heated terms. I don't know what your parents beliefs are on this topic, but it would be better to come out while you're not having an argument. Good luck!
Yeah, like eclispe said, never come out during an arguement, bad things happen, trust me. I came out to my dad during an arguement, and we've never really had the same relationship (even though there wasn't much of one in the first place). However, if it's really bugging you so bad, just come out to them, when everyone's relaxed, not when you're ready to rip each others' throats out. Or, if you don't want to come out to them just yet, tell them you're more focused on school and stuff like that. Say that you don't really want to look for someone (keep the pronouns ambigioius) right now because you think it would distract you from your schoolwork. Best of luck to you.
Yeah, it would be definitely better if you could find a way to tell your parents when you are both in a calm state where you can talk things out. Coming out in an argument is never good! If they are constantly harassing you about it they may already suspect. They probably just don't know that their words are hurting you.
I would suggest talking to your mum when you're not in an argument situation or you're not feeling bugged by her, and tell her that she really annoys you, asking about boyfriends all the time. Say that you are concentrating on your studies or something, or that you don't feel ready for a relationship yet, or that there's no one who has caught your fancy. But if you really do feel that you're in danger of coming out in an argument, and you feel that there are times that you have very little control over your temper, then I would strongly recommend making moves towards coming out to them in a period of non-anger. Because if you think you are in imminent danger of coming out to them, you have to make sure that it's at a time when you are in control of the situation. But I hope you stop getting asked these questions - I know it can be very annoying - whether I've met someone new yet is all anyone asks me anymore!!
I can only echo the advice given above. Don't come out to your parents during an argument. Do what ever you can to avoid it. You should come out to them at a time that is of your own choosing. If you don't want to come out to your parents yet, then maybe just talk to your parents and ask them to stop asking you about boyfriends. The suggestions that ccdd has given "say that you are concentrating on your studies or something, or that you don't feel ready for a relationship yet, or that there's no one who has caught your fancy" are actually the ones I have used in the past when my mum asked me about why is it that I don't have a girlfriend. Now I'm just saying I am too busy at the moment. It works!
Thanks far all the advice guys the stalling tactics seem to be working at the moment, and no I can't see myself coming out to them anytime soon they have really strict views on this sort of thing and their biggest views in life for me are getting married and having kids so I don;t think they will take it too well.
