Basically, I want to be out at school, but I have three people in my way: my dad, my best friends mom (who works at my school), and my sister. Now, theoretically, my dad works away most of the time so I can keep it from him even if I come out at school, and my best friends mom is super awesome, and I could probably get my best friend to tell her. Then there's my sister. She's a junior so unless I wait two years until she goes to college, I have to come out to her. My entire family is very openminded, but my sister is so ignorant. I made a post a while back about how she thinks that it's stupid (in a degrading way) that people are scared to come out. Today we were talking about an allusion to a possibly transgender character in a musical and she goes "But he can't be a girl if he doesn't have the right stuff down there." I went on a rant about how it doesn't matter about your genatalia, you have the right to call your body whatever you want. She kept saying that you couldn't be a girl without having the anatomically-associated body parts and then I kinda just walked out. How the heck is she so ignorant??? One of her close friends is bisexual but she still says stupid crap like this. So what do I do? I want so badly to come out fully at school, but I'm terrified of her. And how should I go about it - straight to her face or in a letter?
OK first things first, forget your sister. Completely and utterly, just forget she exists for a moment. So now we have 2 people. We'll start with your best friends mum. Apparently she's super awesome! I'm assuming that means if you or your friend asks her not to mention it, then she probably won't. So now we have 1 person. Dad. So what makes dad so bad? You might have posted this somewhere and I've missed it, but what happens if he finds out? As far as school is concerned, a couple of things occur to me. First, it spreads around children like a plague so once you're out, chances are you're out to everyone. Second, unless you're school staff are really fucked up, they will hear about it but they won't give a damn. We talk about a lot of stuff in staff rooms but student sexuality isn't one of them...that's like...prison talk considering your age bracket! Now your sister, whose existence I suppose we HAVE to acknowledge at some stage. From what you've told us, she appears to have basically NO exposure to trans stuff. Most people don't. Having said that, you're not trans, so I wouldn't worry about that now. Pick your battles, you can fight that one later if you want! She doesn't see why coming out is scary. For some people it isn't. She hasn't had to do it, why would it scare her? It's a stupid comment BUT it doesn't necessarily mean she's going to be bad to you about it. If anything, it probably just invites you to not tell her at all. After all, if she finds out from someone else that you're out what can she possibly say to you? "Why didn't you tell me?!" Well PROBABLY because you said it wasn't a big deal.
