Hi guys! I'm 16, and i'm ftm transgender and gay. I would not hesitate to come out, because my family overall is super accepting and supportive and most of them I've already told I'm questioning, but I'm in a bit of a unique situation... I'm in Russia on an academic exchange. I am NOT coming out in Russia, to Russian people--that's not my question. I'm just wondering if i should come out to my parents. We skype every week for about an hour, and I've been here for almost 5 months. I've got a little under 6 months left on this exchange. I want to go to school next year wearing a binder and presenting as male, so I want to give my family enough time to process what I've said before I do anything like that. BUT. I really don't know if over skype, halfway across the world from each other, is the best way to come out... I'm really leaning towards waiting until I get back. My issue with that is that we'll be going to look at colleges, and it might be a bit of an awkward time to come out when we haven't seen each other for almost 11 months... But I also want to give them enough time to fully process that before i tell them that i want to present as male in school. I'm just kind of in a sticky situation.
Hi there, and welcome to Empty Closets! It's absolutely fantastic that you already know that your parents would accept and support you. A part of me feels that it is something you should speak with your parents in person, when you are back, rather than over Skype. In some ways you are seeing your parents on a regular basis, thus I wouldn't worry too much about it being awkward. I would give it a few days, until you settle back in, and then try to speak with your parents. It might mean having to postpone your own goal of wanting to go to school wearing a binder, and presenting yourself as male for a short time, but I do think that it could make a difference in how fast they will be processing everything.
Does sound a bit sticky. .. . I would personally be concerned about security and skype while you are in Russia. If your family knows you are questioning though, what about simply letting them know that your current situation, being there, is really bringing you into contact with your desire to be able to physically express yourself/ experiment with physically expression and while you absolutely understand that doing so there is not an option (since you value your safety and know they also do) they should know that it's something you will be glad to have the freedom to do when you get home. ?? Just sounding back. . . . .
