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Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Trent13, Jun 26, 2008.

  1. Trent13

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    I umm need some help... I umm really fucked up (Sorry about my swearing and that this e-mail may be long).

    I had a crush on someone and i told them. Now i was not thinking at that time and now well i dont really have anything to live for. Everyone i know, and people that i dont know, know about me being who i am. Its really hard i dont know what to do.

    Ok please don't tell me off about this because i thought it was the right thing at the time and i thought he was mature at the time but now i totally regret it. Ok so i told marcus slowly over myspace (By mail not comments) and now mitch and cody are teasing me about it. They are really pissing me off but i suppose its my mess and i should clean it up. I would if i knew how to. Like yesterday when we were waiting for a teacher in science, some guy (that i dont know) walks past and goes something like "Hey Trent.." and then marcus told him to shut up.

    I think somethings up. I have really fucked up. I dont know what to do. I Have been talking to this guy named Aden. He has been calling me and we have been talking and yes he is older but he is not is shepparton. Nowhere near it so dont worry he is not going to hurt me or anything (as teachers worry). He is 17 and he has been through what i am going through so he is really helping me out, but things get really hard. Really hard, and i dont know what to do.

    Im going to try and book in with Renae but i dont think i will get in. Maybe, Maybe not? I dont really know. I cry myself to sleep at night. I cant talk to my mum or anyone because they dont know, and i want to tell them when i want to and when im ready. I dont know it thats going to be soon.

    I dont know what to do. I really need help.
     
    #1 Trent13, Jun 26, 2008
    Last edited by a moderator: Jun 27, 2008
  2. Martin

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    Well this hasn't advanced anywhere so i'll have a go at it.

    So you've announced to your crush that you like him and now everybody knows? Not exactly the best way, but it's easy to live with. Coming out is only as good or bad as you make it. There are millions of problems that can happen, but how much we let that affect us is based on how we react. Reacting as if you have nothing to live for sounds very dramatic. Everybody has something to live for, and just because you feel like that now does not mean you will do in the future. You're only young so you can't expect your whole life to be the same scenario you are in now.

    Getting teased for coming out isn't nice, but there are ways to approach it. Ask the two people to stop, and if that fails then take it further. It is bullying and they can get themselves into alot of trouble for it. You just need to be willing to get help for it as it isn't going to come to you. Marcus telling that guy to shut up is pretty meaningless really, and you shouldn't let it affect you. You could easily go up to the guy and talk to him, but i wouldn't look into it too much as a simple "shut up" shouldn't be enough to put somebody off speaking to you again. It's not like you were the one who told him to shut up.

    It's good that you have somebody to talk to about it. Just remember to be aware of the dangers of talking to people online.I'm not saying you should trear him as if he is a paedophile, but you should definetly make sure he is who he says he is before handing out any personal details.

    Don't let all this put you off. It's unfortunate, but it's far from being unbearable. Just be willing to get help if people carry on teasing you and try not to let it affect you (easier said than done, I know). Don't worry about not being able to tell your parents. If you can't then you're clearly not ready, and it's something you should do when you're thinking rationally, not when you're overwhelmed with unfirtunate events in your life.


    I've also removed the other posts to stop the thread being cluttered with posts offering no advice.
     
  3. Mirko

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    Hi Trent! I agree with Martin.

    What happened is unfortunate. It's too bad that someone talked when they should not have. I know that it will be hard, but try not to think about it too much. There is nothing you can do about it now. You did not create the mess. It's not your fault.

    Having Marcus telling the other guys to shut up won't do anything. I think it would be good if you would talk to the other guys and tell them to stop teasing you. It's none of their business. Try to ignore them, don't react to what they are saying. If this doesn't do it, then (and as Martin suggested) talk to a teacher or a counselor for support and they will deal with the guys. Don't be afraid to ask for help from teachers or counselors.

    Having an online friend can certainly help and is someone who can lend you support. But as Martin indicated, do be careful. Don't give him any personal information.

    You have everything to live for. You still have your entire life ahead of you. These kinds of events help us to become stronger, because we learn how to react to them and how to deal with them in the future. Don't let it get you down. You will get through this.

    You will know when you are ready to come out to your parents. Don't place any extra pressure on yourself in that regard. Take your time.

    Hope this helps!
     
    #3 Mirko, Jun 27, 2008
    Last edited: Jun 27, 2008
  4. Trent13

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    Well thanks so much for the support and advise..Im no longer friends with Aden (the 17 year old) not because of what you have said just because of...Well its messy..But anyway thanks.. I dont really need to worry any more.. well or atleast 2 weeks because of hoildays.. And i think/hope by the time we go because to school something else will have happened and im the old news and no one cares..
    Thanks Guys!(*hug*)(&&&)(!):thumbsup::smilewave:icon_wink:slight_smile: