How young is "too young"

That's very cool of you to be cautious of how people could interpret someone your age coming out.

I thought the same thing when I realized I was gay. Because of this, I waited until tenth grade to come out to my parents. For some reason, you become much more credible to your parents when you move up to high school.

If I were you, I'd still just wait a while longer. It seems bad of me to tell you that, but you're right - you will be more believable when older.

Very smart of you to be cautious like that. ^_^

 

I told the first person in person when I was 15, but I knew that I was gay when I was 12 or 13. By the time I was 17, I was out to basically everyone spare a few people, but I'm now 100% out.

My advice would be come out on your own time. If you don't feel like you're ready to be out to your family, wait until you are comfortable. If you're comfortable with it, tell them whenever you feel the timing is right.

For me, I was scared of what the upperclassmen would think or do to me, when I was outed in my freshman year, but even in a conservative rural place like where I go to school, people were generally supportive. Depending on what part of New England you're in, I'd expect they'd be more accepting than not.

I don't think 13 is too young to know your sexuality, because some people know theirs when they're 6 or 7, so if they ask you about it, you can say something to the effect of "I'm sure that I'm sure about this. I've never been more sure about something in my life."

Hope I helped somehow.

 

Welcome to EC, and congratulations on being so confident and coming out at thirteen years old. Geeze! I wish I was as courageous as you were back when I was your age.

I also knew I was gay by your age, although I went into denial. I really can't tell you how proud it makes me to see that you have moved so quickly to acceptance, and not only that being out to your friends. It actually makes me tear up a little bit at how far we've come, because for a lot of people - especially my age and older - the thought of coming out at your age was unthinkable.

Anyway, like I said I knew by your age as well. You're right that some people may doubt you due to your age, but whether or not someone doubts you that shouldn't deter you from being honest - so long as you feel safe. If someone asks how do you know that you're gay, you just respond honestly. "How did you know you were straight at my age? I just know the same way you knew you were straight."

You may be asked, "How do you know if you haven't had sex with a girl or a boy?" To which you can respond, "How did you know that you were straight before you had sex with a girl or boy?"

Basically any accusation of doubt hurled at you can be rephrased in that way. There is nothing magical that happens that makes people start out straight and then become gay later. We're born gay or straight. Some of us just have the courage and ability to accept it sooner than others.

Understand that even an accepting family can take time to come to terms with the idea of you being gay. It has nothing to do with not accepting or loving you, but rather they've built up an idea of you and your future. That future involves you with a woman, and that future isn't going to happen. So part of them will grieve the loss of those dreams, but in the process they will forge new dreams and a new future - one that is based in truth.

I can't tell you that you should come out to your family, because that's a decision you have to make for yourself. However, I can tell you that the more people who know the more it's going to get back to your brother in the High School. People talk and gossip, and at this point you no longer have control over him finding out more. You're now in a position, because you've come out to so many people, that you're no longer in control of who finds out and who doesn't.

This is important to consider from your brothers perspective. If he's harassed because he has a gay brother, or he hears derogatory remarks about you; he may feel compelled to fight back. I don't know how your brother will react, or even whether or not he'd tell your parents. However, because so many people already know, you've lost control over who gets to find out and who doesn't.

You should take into consideration that your teachers may even be aware that you're gay by this point, and that when your parents ultimately speak to them that they could let something slip. This could put you in a rather awkward position of coming out not on your terms.

These are just some things to consider. I want to reiterate how proud I am of you again. (*hug*)

 

Welcome to EC!

Congrats on being able to be so open at so young an age. It took me til 20 to be able to get comfortable enough to really do that so yay for you!

If you're worried about your parents thinking you're too young, than you can wait it's probably no big deal.

 

Wow, when I was your age I was still going through extreme denial, I'm glad you managed to figure yourself out and accept it so soon

I think people will believe you, as long as you stand your ground. I came out at 16 and even I said "oh, you're right, it might be a phase". Do not say that to whoever you come out to lol!

They'll just go into denial and it's not good. If you stand your ground and say "I am gay, I've known for quite a while" they should believe you.

If they say "You can't know at your age"... simply tell them, you do know, and you have accepted it, and you hope they can accept it as well!

Good luck with everything, keep your head up high, I'm proud of you for being so brave at such a young age

 

It's never too young.

I came out to my family at 13, hell my brother knew since I was 10 (when I struggled with it greatly and cried about it nightly). I always had my brother's silent support, but my mom....let's just say she haven't taken it well. My dad was in denial and said what everyone hates to hear at that age, "You're too young. You can't possibly know. You're just confused, it's just a phase." Now at 18, he since accepted it. He's not 100% comfortable, more like 95% but he supports me fully and gets more and more comfortable about it day by day.

My mom--still at 18-- hates me for it. She said she's "accepted" it but she's still very spiteful about it. You can't change people, unfortunately.

My advice is, tell them. Tell them NOW so they have years to think about it. They may just easily whaff it away with just "you're too young, it's just a phase". But if you keep letting them know, especially when you're my age, they'll {hopefully} be in terms with it.

 

Come out when You're ready It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks!

 

I came out this past fall (14 so ninth grade). Honestly in high school it is a lot easier to deal with sexuality (For me any way). The only thing I regret about coming out is not coming out sooner. eighth grade was hell for me and I really could have used some support.

 

Good for you for coming out! I am going through a similar situation due to my mother. Last year in last August, I came out to my mom as bi. To this day, I still don't think she believes that I'm bisexual. About 2-3 days ago, my mom, my aunt (who she outed me to) and I were watching "Iyanla: Fix My Life" and the person who was getting help had come out as gay when he was 16. My mom said that she didn't have anything against homosexuality, but that people shouldn't be coming out at 14...