Ever since I was a kid, ever since I can remember, I've always seen myself as a boy even though I'm technically a girl. I enjoy writing and creating characters and I've always only created male characters to relate to myself. I even have a persona for myself, a male one named Jesse. Basically what I mean to say is that I know and have always known that I wanted to be a male. As a kid I told my family and my parents that I wanted to be a boy but they didn't take me seriously. Even I didn't really know that I was transgender, I didn't even know exactly what being transgender was. Recently I turned 18 though and I realized that my seeing myself as male may have been actually something that I had to worry about, something abnormal. I find myself in a lot of pain and crying because I feel like I can never be what I truly want to be and I had no one around me, no one to talk to about how I feel, no one who would take me seriously. Even now, when I'm so confused, I see myself as a male and nothing anyone can say to me will change that but I have no idea how I can make anyone around me see me as a male without first becoming a male myself. I'd like to come out to my parents, I'd like to talk to them about how I feel, but my parents would not accept me, they would just say that it was not a big deal and tell me that how I feel is not how I actually feel. They are homophobic and they have very narrow views on things that are different than the norm. I want to at least tell them though, whether they would accept me or not but I get so scared that I start shaking. I need help, I need to talk to other people who understand me. Feeling like a male is not new to me but being transgender is. It doesn't make a lot of sense when I say it that way but hopefully you understand. Is there anything I can do to not feel so hopeless and so alone? Is there anyway I can ever come out?
Can you tell us a bit more about your situation? How old are you? Are you in school, college, living with your parents, living alone or with someone else?
