I am coming out of the closet to my friend's sister. She is the second person I am going to come out to and I am already shaking. I told my friend first and since she came out to her sister and was super supportive, I am taking the risk. I have decided to tell her because I am sick of staying in the closet. I self-harm occasionally and it is only because of who I am so I am hoping to just come out to one more person and feel better for myself. Any tips? Thanks
Hey buddy, I am sorry that none of us replied yesterday, I am not sure what is up with that. I totally understand what you're going through and it's tough. Even though you are coming out to someone you are sure is an ally, it still is not easy. I don't know how old you are, or how long you have been closeted but I can say for me (I came out at 25) that it was REALLY tough just to spit out the words "I'm gay". The first person I came out to was a friend of mine who is a Lesbian and even then it was tough. I took her out for coffee and then we went for a walk. I was so nervous! Looking back, it wasn't that I thought she'd reject me, although I did go into several coming out conversations preparing for rejection; it was more that I knew that once I told someone... There was no going back. The closet was safe from harm and ridicule. I was normal when I was in the closet. There was so much unknown associated with living a life outside of the norm, and I was terrified of it. Of course it went well, and then I moved on to my brother from there, then friends, and finally my parents almost a month later. With each interaction it got easier, and now it's just a nonchalant piece of who I am. People either know or they don't... It feels incredible to be and it is so worth it! The road to healing begins today, and I for one am so excited for you! How awesome of you to take this step. It takes incredible bravery and resolve to say what you are about to say and I bet you will do fine. As for tips, it would depend on how close you are to this person. Should you take them out for coffee? I usually prefer to tell people one on one, but since she's the sister of the only other person you are out to, you could always have your friend with you when you tell her. I would definitely come into by broadcasting that you have a goal in mind; make it clear at the start of the conversation that you have something you want to talk to her about. It will make it less likely that you will back out. She's not going to reject you, but there may be some hugging and squealing involved (I got tackled off a bar stool by one of my friends when I told her). So, after today, who's next? What's your plan of attack? Feel free to write on my wall or PM me anytime you want to talk. Good luck my friend! -The Seeker
