How Do You Know If You're Ready?

For me it got to the point where I couldn't deny it anymore and I was sick of lying.

 

I was more afraid my parents would find out from someone else than telling them myself.

 

For me it was the point of I couldn't get it out of my head, I felt like I was truly suffering at the hands of something so stupidly normal and okay that I couldn't just sit in silence anymore and I had to tell someone. But I probably waited a lot longer than what was healthy. I'd say go for it now.

 

Circumstance forced my hand, with my family. I'd come out to my friends (and brother) age 20 - but put off telling the family for another 8 years.

Anyway.

My brothers wedding was coming up and I knew all the aunts/uncles would basically ask me the same question they've always asked - "have you got a girlfriend?" Also, I knew after the wedding was over the focus would switch to me & my partners.

A few months before, one of my aunts actually asked "Have you got a boyfriend" - which completely knocked me off balance. I'm honest to the core and I couldn't lie. But I wasn't going to come out to her on her terms (and I felt I had a duty to tell my parents before anyone else in the family) so I said the only thing I could - "that's not a question I can answer"

Which was true.

But I knew then it was only a matter of time.

So I told my parents 2 weeks before my Bro's wedding - they took it as well as could be expected, but were clearly ashamed of me & didn't want the family knowing. But I was ready to come out to the extended family, so I forced the issue.

At the wedding I made a point of replying honestly if anyone asked if i'd got a girlfriend. I didn't so much come out - I just stopped lying. Some people were cool, others not so.

But I don't really care. I'm finally free.

 

I knew I was ready to come out when I was sure of my feelings and sexuality, and sick of hiding those feelings from everyone. Basically, I just couldn't keep it a secret any longer.

 

I knew I was ready to come out when it was all I could think about. It was consuming my life, and it had to be done.

 

I knew I was ready to come out when I realised it was all I could think about. I was struggling through second year of uni at the time and couldn't concentrate on work at all, as it was consuming my life completely, the constant lying was too tiring on top of everything else.

I think when the time is right, you just know.

 

This is why I came out to my parents I was so scared sombody else would tell them.

 

For me, it was a cost-benefit analysis. I suddenly realized that telling people no longer felt worse than bottling it up and trying to fight it.

 

If you think you are ready, you are ready. It is as simple as that.

 

This is what I always say...

You'll come out when the expected discomfort of coming out is less than the actual discomfort that you're currently experiencing.

And keep in mind that what we expect is almost always worse than what actually happens. So quite often we come out later than we really needed to, because the benefits of coming out almost always immediately outweigh the downside.