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Being PUSHED out the closet!!

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by DatGurl53, Jan 8, 2014.

  1. DatGurl53

    Regular Member

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    Ive been at complete war with myself for the past 2-3 years about being gay. The constant questioning the what ifs, denial, depression. All of which a 14 year old kid should not go through. I will be 16 in April and theres never a day when I don't think about telling somebody. At school I met this girl in one of my classes and I think shes amazing and I always find myself staring at her and I cant seem to stop. I told one of my close friends and she was like "so your a lesbian"? That freaked me out, I've come to terms with liking girls and I know its normal and nothing to be ashamed of but... I was. It's like it finally hit me and I went straight back to denial, right to where I was 2 years ago. Since I told my friend (aka last night) I just feel like I want to puke all the time and I cant look at my Mom in the eyes. I just want to crawl in a hole and sleep. If thats how I feel after telling one of my friends who was %110 cool with it and supportive I don't think I could ever tell my mom or my sister.... Could you imagine a life where every time you came out to somebody you have to re-evaluate if your actually gay? My friend asked when I was going to tell other people and I told her Im not really sure if im even gay, sexuality is fluid just because I like this girl when Im 16 doesn't mean I need to make a life decision. I think that I just need time, time to live and experience things to actually have the confidence to come out to people. My friend asked me how much time and I told her like a year or two. SHE FLIPPED OUT. To me thats not enough time I would wait till university untill I actually have a girlfriend and Im happy with my life and myself. She told me I cant live a life of denial or ill just be unhappy forever, valid points but If your in denial you don't come out to the world you come out to yourself. She really wants to help me and keeps telling me to talk to someone whose experienced what im going through and to tell someone else. She is REALLY motivational and I fear she's going to convince me to come out before im ready.


    I guess what im asking is, what do I tell her? Does anyone else feel that way after coming out to somebody? And If I should wait untill I get out of highschool and experience real life before coming out?
     
  2. burg

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    well on the bright side at least she wanting the best for you.but if you are not comfortable coming out you should wait.
    ''talk to someone whose experienced what im going through'' not really bad advice but you could say thats what your on ec for.

    your right no 14 year old should be in your position. hugs aye

    sounds like your feeling real vulnerable dont worry thats normal and it does pass.coming out to someone is like being in a new culture or meeting new people.its hard to know how to act around people when you take of the mask.
     
    #2 burg, Jan 9, 2014
    Last edited: Jan 9, 2014
  3. Byron

    Regular Member

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    Sexual Orientation:
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    Some people
    Well you can tell your friend that you are talking to someone who is experienced in what you are going through, a whole community in fact. I would also recommend telling her that it is up to you to decide when you feel comfortable enough with your sexuality to tell others about it, not her, and that she should stop pressuring you and instead help you to solidify who you are sexually so that you can come out as whatever you end up being when you are ready. She is concerned about you, but it seems that her desire to help you is misguided. I think that you tell her the type of help that you want from her in this troubling time for you.