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Not good

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by dancingqueen79, Jun 27, 2008.

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  1. dancingqueen79

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    i'm living with my boyfriend now, when i came out to my parents everything seemed okay, then yesterday I came home to find the door locked, so I pulled my keys out but they didn't fit into the locks. I lifted up the mat and there was no key there. So I had to break open my window. I grabbed my bag, packed clothes, toothpaste, toothbrush and stole a few dollars from my parents stash and went to my boyfriend's house.
    His parents are part of PFLAG so they are very suipportive of our lifestyle. So when i told them they changed the locks and they don't want me there they told em I could live with them...thanks guys. I'm living with my boyfriend, and I'm very sad. But as usual my bofriend was very supportive, when we went to sleep he wrapped his arms around me and said "I love you so much. So...that's it my life is a mess right now first i was raped then kicked out of my home....wheeeee:icon_sad::icon_sad::icon_sad:
     
  2. Nanzuniko

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    I empathize with you. My parents were like that as well. If your parents still won't change their way of thinking, I'd suggest giving it some time before you try to confront them again.
     
  3. Malchik89

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    DQ, your story is a sad one indeed. Im sorry that had to happen to you, i thinks its most of our fears of telling our parents that they might react that way. But you're no where near out on the streets, you're in a loving home with someone who loves you more than his life, and who's able to hold you to make the bad things go away. Seems like he's the light in you darkness ^^ Your parents will come around eventually, they're just scared (of things they clearly dont understand).

    I hope for the best for you (*hug*)
     
  4. Poring

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    Have you had a chance to talk to your parents yet?

    but I'm sure everything will turn out good in the end cause you got someone there by your side who you know to 'love you so much' :grin:

    Best of luck, and Hang in there!
    (*hug*)
     
  5. LOVEjames

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    Your parents aren't legally allowed to kick you out at 14. If you want to take some sort of legal action (to say, live with your boyfriend, although that could get a little tricky), then you have every right to, and I suggest that you do. If you don't want to do that then you should just discuss it with them, since they're obviously sending you a message and you should reciprocate.
     
  6. Uncertain

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    That's very brave of you, I could never imagine what it's back.

    However, just like others have said, they're not legally allowed to kick you out of the house. If you said your parents reacted OK, then they're probably just going through a phase of denial and hopefully they'll get over it. I'd say, still try and fix things with your parents - a night of not opening the door is very sad indeed but things could change. I'm saying all this because they are your parents, they should love you and even if they don't they have the legal responsibility to take care of you. This is just in case your boyfriend's parents are not able to look after you for the long term, which can be a likely possibility and you have to be aware of that. Last thing you want is ending up on the streets on your own.
     
  7. -Michael-

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    Could you get your boyfriends parents to talk to your own?

    If they're part of PFLAG they'll know exactly what to say right?:slight_smile:
     
  8. Nj doodle

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    Nawww i feel for you! im not our yet and this is wat im afraid of... rejection..
    But in ur case... u had somewhere to stay. i know one of my mates went through the same issue but it got a bit violent and it went to court and yeah... now his a foster care...
     
  9. Cool Beans

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    That's not cool at all that your parents did that to you, especially at your age. You're very fortunate to have a wonderful boyfriend with a supportive family like that. Hopefully your parents will come around. If not, having your boyfriend's parents talk to him might be a good idea, as was already suggested. Do your parents know his parents? You might also look into getting some PFLAG materials for your parents.

    I hope it all works out for you.
     
  10. beckyg

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    If you want your parents to accept you, then stealing money from them isn't a good way to handle things even if they did behave badly. I don't understand why they would be okay at first and now react this way. Any ideas?
     
  11. Mirko

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    Hi there! I agree with Becky that although your parents behaved in a way that is not appropriate stealing money will not bring you any closer with your parents in trying to resolve this.

    Having said this, I want you to understand that we are all trying to help each other out and trying to be there for each other the best we can. However, to do this and that you and possibly other members or guests benefit from the support and advice, we need to be honest with each other.

    Now, you might wonder why is he saying this? Simple. There are a few things I really want you to help me to understand here. The first thing is this. You have mentioned that you have come out to your parents and they seemed okay or fine with it. Now just thinking about that they should not have any reason to throw you out. I'm sure they must have said something to you one way or the other. It is highly unusual for parents to throw their kid out of the house when they are okay with it. And given that you are only 14, I have really trouble imagining that your parents would do something like this. Usually when someone comes out at your age, a parent's first reaction would be that "it is just a phase. You will grow out of it." So please, help me to understand this.

    The other concern that I have is that in one of your earlier posts from just a few days ago (to which I replied actually) you have mentioned that you would like to have a boyfriend and that so far you have had only a boyfriend in your world to which you withdraw to when you are in pain and want to forget that you are lonely. It is sad that you have to do that in order to escape reality. Reading a few days later that you have a boyfriend, is absolutely fantastic in particular considering the fact that your boyfriend has all the characteristics of your 'imaginary boyfriend'. But before you move in with him, don't you want to get to know him a little more. I mean you hardly know him. It is great that he is caring and protective but still would you not want to get to know him more?
     
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