Just to kind of give you my situation I am a freshman in college who is positive they are gay, but pretty nervous on how to come out of the closet. I just feel that what all of the people I know think of me will become something completely different from what it is now. I guess I hold the standard of people's opinions very high in my head. My parents would be comfortable if I was gay and I believe my mom thinks I might be. But I'm just not sure if I should even tell anyone because I don't ever feel it's a good time. I just want some help on a plan to lower the stress and anxiety I get from thinking about telling people I'm gay and actually be able to fully come out once I'm ready. I just don't see the difference weather people know or not. I think I feel this way because I'm a bigger guy who played football in high school so I just think the images don't mesh well and I don't think come across as gay at first look. On a side note, when do you even tell people you just met your gay? Other people don't go around announcing they are straight so how do you tell them you're gay? PLEASE HELP!
Change your "Interested in" on Facebook to "Men". Put a rainbow flag in your avatar or cover photo. Wear a rainbow bracelet, ring, dog tag, or T-shirt. Go to a gay-straight alliance meeting to meet people. Start visiting the local gay oriented bar if you are drinking age in your state. Sit your best friend down and tell them you have something else they need to know about you, or write them a letter or email and include the phrase "I am gay" in it somewhere. Show your roommate your new Andrew Christian or 2(X)ist underwear; it's almost unheard of for a straight person to wear it. There are a thousand different ways to do it, grand style with a bang or subtly to one person you trust at a time, most of which people have already talked about here if you read some of the many threads asking the same question. The only issue is which way you feel is best for you, and whether you are ready yet or not. You can be totally out to the people you care about, and invisible to the rest of the public in general if you want to, or wear a tie-dye rainbow shirt and look "probably out" to everyone who sees you. In California, being out is generally no big deal to college students. The people who would be bothered by it don't matter, and the people who matter won't care if they truly care about you. It is never a comfortable time to come out, but once you are, it is always better for you to be out, because that is the authentic you. The "image" you project will be of a big strong guy who played football and happens to also be gay, and is not ashamed to say so because there is no reason you should be. If some people have a problem with that, then it is their problem to deal with, not yours. Start the process when you are ready.
