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I am really attracted to my best friend, he knows I'm gay

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by jackflash5, Jan 10, 2014.

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  1. jackflash5

    jackflash5
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    I just started the coming out process. I'm a first-year college student. When I came out to my best friend I have at college, he was super supportive and cool with it. It really felt good when he cared enough to ask me questions about what I am going through.

    Now it's been a couple of days since I told him. And I feel like every day I get more and more attracted to him. It kind of hurts because he is a really good friend, and that is what means the most to me. Simultaneously, I can't help myself but to have such a strong emotional attraction to him.

    I don't think I should tell him this because it could jeopardize his support for what I am going through. It may make him feel uncomfortable, but I could be wrong about that.

    How do I deal with this... it's almost easier to just try and avoid him and forget, but I can never do that. I always have so much fun hanging out with him.
     
    #1 jackflash5, Jan 10, 2014
  2. piano71

    piano71
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    I'm assuming your friend is straight, because your coming out didn't prompt him to come out.

    If he is indeed straight (the most likely scenario), he unfortunately won't feel the same way about you.

    That time of first coming out to yourself - or anyone - is a very emotionally volatile one. I'd recommend acknowledging to yourself why you like this guy, as that will be helpful when looking for a boyfriend. But don't tell your straight friend you're having feelings for him, as he may get uncomfortable. Don't avoid him either - you can still be "just friends," which is the best possible outcome for this situation.

    Then set about making some gay friends, because falling in love with your best friend works best when the friend is also gay. :slight_smile:
     
    #2 piano71, Jan 10, 2014
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