Hi, EmptyClosets members! I'm new. I came on here because I'm still in the closet but I'm hoping to change that sometime between this year and junior year. So, I need some advice from you helpful peeps! Let me tell my predicament first. It may be a bit TLR, but just skip the whole story if you want to and skip to the last paragraph. (I'm new to forums as well so if I'm posting this in the wrong section, tell me to change it :icon_wink ) I'm a 15 year old sophomore. I'm also gay. (RAINBOW PARTY! JK) I never really felt attracted to girls, I just always felt like I wanted to be friends with them. When I was 11, I realized that I was gay. I didn't want to accept it, but right when I realized it (it was after seeing a scene of a shirtless man on some sitcom) I asked my mom if she ever thought of me as gay. She said that she didn't. She asked why I asked her, and I made up the excuse that people were calling me gay at school. She told me to ignore them. Every day after that for about a month, I asked my mom and my dad when finally my dad asked me if I was gay. I said no. A year later, middle school came around. I assumed I was bi, because two girls asked me out and I dated them. I never came out as bi, though, since one of my friends came out as bi and he got beat up multiple times that year. I had many friends who were guys during middle school. It kinda just added to me thinking I was bi. Even towards the end of middle school, I still thought I was bi. The only thing was, I never once felt sexually attracted to either of the girls I dated. I guess I was just trying to hide it from myself. Come eighth grade, I find out I got accepted to a school with one of the best theatre departments in my state. When I first arrived at the drama school, I was welcomed with love and happiness from my whole class. Still feeling the way I did in middle school, I missed the chance to come out freshman year to my class, because I was still lying to myself. There was even a day where you could say any deep secret that you wanted to, and I still didn't freaking say I was gay! (Sorry, I just don't know how I could be that stupid.) My whole school, (aside from some people) is pretty liberal, so I don't know why I didn't come out then. So here we are, sophomore year. I desperately want to come out because I feel like I can't be completely honest with all of my friends. I just feel like I'm lying to them, since I've stated that I was straight before. No one in the whole world knows that I'm gay, I guess except God. :lol: Even though I'm more worried about my friends, I'm also worried about my family members. The only things that I'm worried about are: A: My aunts and uncles and Grandmother are conservative Christians who don't like gays. B: All the guys in my school and the locker rooms might beat me up and make fun of me if I come out. C: My friends might view me as dishonest for lying to them for all these years. D: How will my best guy friend react? Will he stop being my friend, or will he continue being my friend? E: My dad might not view me as a good son because I'm gay (He's stated in the past that no one would ever want a gay son, which made me cry a little but I got over it) And I think that's all the important issues I have with coming out! I desperately need advice! When I came across the website, I was so happy that there were others like me, since there's only like one gay guy in my entire school. Anyway, sorry for the long post, and what's your advice for me? Thanks, and regards, KinoQuard
Hi there, and welcome to Empty Closets! I'm glad that you have decided to join, and hope that by being a member on EC, will be able to achieve your goal of starting to come out. It's great that you feel you are ready, and want others to know. It is okay if you haven't come out yet. Everybody has their own timing, and it is important that you feel comfortable with yourself, and with the idea of being out. I would suggest, and given that your school is pretty liberal, start coming out to some of your friends at school. Start with one or two friends you know you can trust and would be supportive. Usually friends will understand why you didn't talk with them about your sexual orientation before, and were hiding. When it comes to coming out to your family, I would suggest to give it some time, at least until you have built a good support network around you. In addition to coming out to friends, maybe try coming out to a teacher, and try to join a youth LGBT support group, either at school (if it has one) or in the community. The more support you have around you, the easier it might be to come out to you parents and give them the time they might need to come around to it, and to understand that your sexual orientation does not change anything about you.
