doing with myself. I dont know what the hell im feeling. Sadness because i want to tell everyone im fucking gay Confusion becasue i dont know why im not telling anyone Happiness becasue my 3 closest friends know and are a blast with it Jealousy because other gay people are perfectly fine I cant cry. i dont know why i would want to. Even thinking about crying makes me smile... Its wierd. Recently i dont know if im coming or going. I always have this happiness showing. If im sad. I end up just laughing at myself. Just wish i could talk to someone. About anything. Not what im feeling neseccarily (After 16 years on this planet i still dont know how to spell that word ) I dont like talking to my friends about troubles. Burden your friends, and soon you wont have any is what i think. All my life ive hidden behind a veil of happiness. No matter what im feeling my friends will always see the cheery side of me. Its always been that way. I wish it could stay that way. But recently i just go silent in the roomnd they'll ask whats up. Id love to have a convrsation with one about what im going to do with my life. But i dont want to come across as self centered. .... Im just venting whats on my mind. Dont take notice if you dont want to. :bang:
Hey man, I read the whole post, I can totally relate. I don't have much time because I'm going out soon, but in short - hang in there. I know what it's like, I used to feel A LOT like this (I won't say exactly, because that's assuming too much). I'm always bubbly beside my friends, constantly the happy-go-lucky person, knows lots of people - but not many of them close enough to talk about deep things. I felt exactly the same about not wanting to burden my friends and kept everything to yourself. What I think is you need to change your thinking, what are friends there for if you can't talk about things upsetting you? Because wouldn't that be a bit artificial then? I'm not telling you to tell ALL your friends and be a drama queen, but having a few friends to confide in is enough. Everyone has our own problems, issues, and moments of mellow times but we don't show it and make compromises all the time. I'm not saying that should be the right thing, but it's socially acceptable to do that. So if you were to get anything out of my post, HANG IN THERE, change your thinking, confide in close friends - but still keep being who you are. Sorry got to go now, love. Kudos to you!
I've felt a lot like that too. I'd have to agree with what Uncertain said; talk to the friends who are closest to you. They won't think you're a burden if they're really your friends. There's absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to talk to someone-- and there's nothing wrong with actually doing it, either. If they had problems, you'd want them to trust you enough to feel like they could talk to you, right? So do the same thing and trust them enough to talk to them about things. Even if you only tell one other person, you'll feel a lot better, I hope. All the best to you.
Hi there! Coming out to others is a difficult journey. The feelings that you have are perfectly normal and with time they will subside. There is a part of us that wants to be out and about and be truly ourselves but there is another part that gives us complete different messages. If you can't come out to others, it might just mean that you are not ready to come out to them yet. With time you will be able to come out to them. Take your time. I can relate to you in that, I was the same when it comes to projecting feelings towards others. I have always tried to show that I'm happy and that I am not the one who has any problems worth talking about because I always felt that I am burdening them with my problems. But over time I have come to realize that true friendships are not only built on the wonderful things we share but also on the things that trouble us. What I mean here is that friends want to hear about you including your problems. Although it might feel like that we are burdening them, because we think that they think 'I have my own problems to deal with,' nothing could be further from the truth. Often friends want to know about your problems and your feelings because they would like to and want to help you.Talking to a friend of yours about your problems and what you want to do with your life, has nothing to do with being self centered. I'm sure your friends have already told you about some of their problems and their ideas about their future. Being ourselves towards our friends is an important component in any friendship. If we are ourselves, it allows our friends to see 'us' and get to know 'us'. Often being ourselves will make our friendships stronger. I hope this helps!
I'm in the same boat. I have guy and girl friends that would be definitely cool with me being gay, but on the other hand, i have guy friends that would NOT be okay with it. It's eating me inside, adding to the ulcer I already practically have from stress from learning my damn lines, and ARE THE TEACHERS ALL PLOTTING AGAINST ME!!!!!!!!!! All my teacher gave me like projects and tests ALL ON THE SAME DAY, and projects due in teh same week. Oh, and for fellow thespians, THIS WEEK IS HELL WEEK for my PLAY!!! AAAGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! but.. listening to "skillet" helps. (its a band)
omg that's how i feel most of the days. it's like ur trapped in a bubble and u can't get out and be free and just be urself still it's good to have positive attitudes, that's how i try to be every time i feel down. cheer up!!!
