Alright, a little background here: I'm 21, I've had a boyfriend, just one, but I think I'm bi or pan. I've had crushes on girls, but nobody knows about them and as far as I know, people assume I'm straight - or at least never bring it up, so I've never denied my feelings, but never been asked them either. So there's the girl at work. Her name is Lauren. She's 25, and I've liked her for oh quite a while. I thought she might be a lesbian, but wasn't sure for a long time. I found out that yeah, she's a lesbian, or at least bi, but... she has a girlfriend. I think the girlfriend is still pretty new, because whenever Lauren has stuff on Facebook it's there all the time, didn't used to be. To make things worse, Lauren's moving to Hawaii up until Christmas at the latest! And, the girlfriend is now going with her - kind of last minute, I think. I wish Lauren wasn't going away. I wish she didn't have a girlfriend, and I wish that she knew me as more than a coworker/friend person that we talk to at work, but only when we happen to see each other. I work at the pool, she works with the kids. So I see her when the kids come in to swim. It's not like I was planning on coming out to her. I haven't come out to anyone, not sure if/when I ever will. But now I wish I'd told her I had feelings for her, or at least gotten to know her more as a friend. I'm not going to see her for a year! She leaves Thursday and Friday was her last day at work and I said goodbye to her then and that I was going to miss her... she said she would miss me too and was teary eyed, but she was doing that with everyone. I kind of want to message her on Facebook and say "I'm really jealous of your girlfriend" or something, but I think that would be juvenile. Plus, she's excited about this trip away and that's just going to either distract her from that, or make things weird with us when she got back. Ugh. I just wish my feelings for her weren't quite like this.
I readed you post. I don't have advices to give you on what to do because i don't have a lot of experiences in this situations, i know that i would do nothing but i'm not a good example to follow. I can only tell you that, if she is gay, she will not spill your secrets around easily, so if you wish to tell her you should not necessarily be afraid of being exposed. Also it is always a pleasure to be told that someone likes you, so she will probably not treat you badly if you do.
It's okay to tell her you're questioning your orientation, but don't tell her you're crushing on her unless she asks; it's not polite to tell someone who's in a relationship already that you like them, imo. But coming out could be a good idea, especially if you want to start with someone as people who're LGBT are usually the safest bets.
Hey thanks for answering! I'm thinking I'll wait to say anything for now... once she's settled in, I'll probably try sending her a message or chatting with her online just to see what she's up to. I've never done much but view her stuff on there, so messaging will be new. Then, if we strike up a good relationship friend-wise, I may tell her that I've been questioning my sexuality and see if she has any advice. Who knows, maybe I'll never have a chance with her, but maybe we'll become better friends and I'll gain her friends as well.
