okay so im not new to this site, i used to go on it a lot back before i came out to my mom back in december 07. anyways, i thought i would give you a little background story before i continue with the main topic of this thread. so im 14 years of age, and i am going into grade 10 next year. i have told my mom (who then told my stepdad) and i still have not yet told my dad or step mom that i am gay. also back in december is when i told my very best friend, and that went well and so i told another close friend and another and so on. and as the school year has gone by, i have told maybe around 30 people in my city. i have friends from every school in my town pretty much. but most of my friends go to my school. just recently one of the people i have come out to told someone that i was gay behind my back. i guess its not a bad thing but it just like betraying my trust or w/e. im not friends with her anymore. i dont know what everyones views on this are but i just feel more comfortable if just my friends know that i am gay and thats it. i am not quite yet comfortable enough to be out completley at this time in my life and apparently some people cannot understand that. i also have liked this older guy at my school this whole year, and many of my friends (who know i am gay) know that i like him. him and i talk rarely online but thats it. okay so back to the main topic, well i have facebook, along with pretty much everyone i know. and as some of you may know, there is an application on facebook called "bathroom wall" for those of you who arent aware of it i will try to explain. bathroom wall is an application on facebook where users can post secrets annonymously on a page and then anyone in the world can reply to your posted secret. another feature of this application is called the "friends" tab where one can go to it to view Posted Secrets from people on their facebook friends list, rather than people from around the world. bathroom wall has become VERY popular to all students in my school, along with many others who live in my city. everyone checks it on a daily basis and this facebook application has ruined many peoples reputations by outing some of peoples most deepest secrets. well today i was on the friends tab and i came across a post stating my name and saying that i loved the guy that i mentioned earlier. not only has this outed me for being gay, but it states the exact guys name that i like. there is no way this post can be removed, unless the poster deletes it. and i have reported the post many times already but that doesnt seem to do anything. somedays i just feel like telling the world i am gay, but after thinking about it i ussually find reasons not to do so. but this certainly is not the way i imagined. just wondering what peoples thoughts on my whole situation are, and/or help with what i can do from here. PS: SORRY FOR THE LONG POST. :icon_redf
I'm sorry that that happened. Nobody deserves to be outed like that. As for what you can do, you have to weigh your options. Basically, there are three: deny it, confirm it, or ignore it and hope it blows over. The route you take is completely up to you and depends on how ready you are to come out and if it's safe for you to come out (given how many people you've told, it seems like it would be safe). In any case, you should probably keep trying to get that post off of the Internet if possible. Good luck to you.
It sounds like you're worried mainly about not being in control. You don't seem to care TOO much about this 31st person knowing you're gay, but you're upset that you weren't the one doing the telling. Probably because you weren't there to make sure Person 31 didn't tell Person 32. I'll tell you this, though - something to think about. People tend to pick up on cues from you. If you treat your homosexuality like a big secret, other people will pick up on that, and treat it the same way. If you treat it like it's no big deal, other people will pick up on that, as well. You're currently treating it like a big secret, and so other people are, too. A few may be whispering, and one scrawled it on the metaphoric bathroom wall. But you'll never anyone whispering "Lex is gay". You know why? Because it ain't a secret. Because I treat it like it's no big deal. ('cause it ain't.) And if you do the same, I'm betting everybody else will follow suit. Just a thought. Lex
