I am aware that this thread is going to make me (more) unpopular and that it might be against the rules, but I need help. I have a problem. I have known it for long but I don't know how to solve it. I am intensely heterophobic (toward heterosexual men exclusively). With this I don't mean that I'm disgusted by them (common trait of homophobia). I just don't want them around me, nor do I want them as my friends. I will actively push away any straight guy who tries to talk to me... if you're a guy, you have to show some rainbows for me to open up a little. I don't know why I dislike them so strongly... it isn't disgust as I said, straight sex isn't disgusting to me. I think it's just the way they think... and the way they've treated me... I come to the point of not finding it funny when I see straight male members here. Someone help me
That's not heterophobia. In fact, there is no such thing as heterophobia, given that homophobia is the institutionalised hatred/dislike/issue with people being gay. The only circumstances in which "heterophobia" could be said to exist would be in a society where most everyone was homosexual and that was considered the "normal" "natural" way of being. Just like women can't be said to be being sexist towards men nor non-white people can be said to be being racist against white people (in the US and Canada, at least). Women can certainly discriminate against men, and white people can definitely be discriminated against by non-whites, but not in the same systemic way with the weight of society's institutions backing them up. But anyway, sorry, just one of my pet peeves, how people in the power group think that if someone treats them poorly that they are experiencing the same thing as people actually facing sexism and racism, etc. It sounds like you just are uncomfortable around straight guys because of a series of bad experiences with them. There's nothing unusual about that; who wouldn't feel wary in that situation? The only advice I can give you is you have remember that just like you would want people to judge you for you, and not assume a bunch of crap about you just because you're gay, straight guys deserve the same benefit of the doubt. Like... I used to get bullied a lot when I was in grade school and high school. So when I used to see any kind of group of guys who were within a certain age range, I would get really nervous/defensive. But that wasn't because of anything about them--it was because I was associating prior bad experiences with a certain type of person. If you let yourself acknowledge your feelings and the reasons behind them, and then remind yourself that your association, while understandable, is irrational, you can probably overcome it with a bit of practice.
Human instinct! Vulnerability leads to fear, fear leads to hate. I agree with what Joey has said. You don't have even have to have had bad experiences with heterosexual males to have these feelings, it can just as easily come from reading other peoples storing and experiences, but more likely it's ones own assumptions and speculations of how other people and act around us. You can't say that it's a lack of common interests or anything like that as in the end you're both males and there isn't much difference between you. I have many male friends whom fit many more of the gay sterotypes then i do (most of which are totally straight) and i get along with them great. You can't fight a majority like that forever. Good luck.
ok, human's tend to avoid things that hurt them, where you hurt by someone because your gay or just hurt by a bunch of straight people in general, if so, its understandable that your heterophobic
