Hello everyone, I am doing a process that I never thought I would do… while I am still in this tumbling phase, this planning phase, this anxious and exciting phase, I have a question to ask. I have never came out as just 'gay' since I don't feel I completely fall into that category. The first time I 'came out' was 3 years ago to a friend in person, and I basically said I was everything/confused/not straight. Then 2 years ago I 'came out' to another friend online, but more as a asexual/bisexual. When university started this year I told a new friend I was bisexual. A little before Christmas this year I 'came out' to a friend I haven't seen in years online, and they took it so well and we have become much closer. Then a week ago I 'came out' to another friend online/in Skype as bi/gay, and they have asked questions, which I am fine with/enjoy, almost everyday. I just sent a message to another guy that I am kinda close with, but instead of going into it after/during a long conversation, I just messaged him it when he was not online. All of these people I have told to not tell others, and I do have confidence that they will stick to their word. This pattern is accelerating, and while I have no interest in the slightest of coming out to my family, is this a typical kind of path some of you have followed? Am I going too fast for my own comfort? Will this get out of hand, and I just have to keep on ripping off the band-aid? Have I opened Pandoras box?
From accepting I was not straight to being completely out took...9 months for me. I think that's pretty fast, but what do I know. I think it's different for everyone, so I wouldn't worry too much about it.
Honestly, since I've figured it out I've told some people, but I also kind of just talk about it as if I'd always talked about hot girls and they just never noticed. I still need to come out to my mom and dad [and most of my family] but in the last month or two I really just haven't put a whole lot of thought into it. I told who I thought was important [and most of them are LGBT anyways, so it was very easy], and it's just been business as usual from there. Granted, a lot of people still don't know, but i also don't deal with them day-to-day.
Honestly, it depends on your age and situation.Teens who live at home and dont want their parents to know, cant come out very quickly. But once you leave home its a lot easier to avoid your parents finding out. As long as you are sure all your friends are open and accepting, then I dont think you're going too fast at all
Ok... Once you tell one person the fuse is lit. People do not keep this sort of thing quiet. People talk. CRIPES people slip up unintentially. Dominoes fall. Don't sweat it. It is beyond your control now. Any sense of control was an illusion. Tom
You are going at the speed you feel comfortable doing it; the absolute speed is irrelevant. Yes, you have opened Pandora's box and found that there is nothing in there to be scared about; good for you.
I think that as long as you feel comfortable telling whoever you tell it doesn't really matter how fast you go - it shouldn't really matter how fast you 'come out' to people as long as it is what you want and you can trust whoever you tell.
