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A catch 22

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by ChromeNerd, Jan 17, 2014.

  1. ChromeNerd

    Regular Member

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    Location:
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    Gender:
    Female
    Out Status:
    A few people
    I can't come out because I'm not sure if my sexuality. I'm not sure of my sexuality because I don't have experience. I don't have experience because I'm closeted.
     
  2. BookDragon

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    Location:
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    Gender Pronoun:
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    Out to everyone
    Taken from a literal standpoint (and ignoring entirely any gut feelings on the matter) there are lots of things wrong with that statement.

    I can't come out because I'm not sure if my sexuality. Who says you have to come out as anything other than questioning in order to do something about it?

    I'm not sure of my sexuality because I don't have experience. By 'experience', I have to assume you mean something more intimate than feelings, because you can have feelings and desires and be very sure of them long before you go near another person. You don't NEED physical experience to confirm it, it would just be helpful...or more accurately, you think it would stop that nagging voice in your head telling you you're wrong. What if it doesn't?

    I don't have experience because I'm closeted. You don't have PHYSICAL experience.

    My point is that there is way more to your sexuality than being physically able to be intimate with someone. You could have sex with a guy and enjoy it and still be lesbian based on the fact that sex just stimulates and causes pleasure. You could go out, make out with a girl and hate it, and it could just be because you weren't sure of THAT GIRL.
     
  3. BluePaperCrane

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    ElliaOtaku is right, but I still get what you are saying. Sometimes, I totally feel the same way. Well, actually, I feel this way all the time. It would be just a huge help if I could date someone without outing myself.
    But I guess you just have to wait and I hope it will all be solved and you will figure everything out. :slight_smile:
     
  4. Mogget

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    This is a common fear, but like Ellia, I think it's misplaced. There are a lot of Kinsey 6 gay and lesbian people who were married to opposite-sex partners for years, had kids and regular sex, the whole 9 yards. Didn't make them any less gay.