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Why do I start crying???

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by OnWisconsin, Jan 20, 2014.

  1. OnWisconsin

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    So recently (two days ago), I came out to two of my best friends(both straight guys). I knew they would be accepting of me but I still became EXTREMELY emotional when I told them I was gay, but I couldn't explain all the crying and being choked up. This also happened when I told my sister about a month ago. I'm beginning to think I am not completely ready to accept the fact that I am gay myself. Does anyone else have experience with this? Could I be coming out too early?
     
  2. BradThePug

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    Congrats on coming out!

    When I came out, I cried too, and I'm not usually one that cries. After hiding your sexuality for so long, it can be overwhelming to know that there are people out there that know you are gay because you told them. As you come out more, you will become more comfortable with the coming out process, and it will probably just bring some nervous excitement (at least that's what happened to me).
     
  3. Chip

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    You're totally ready to come out, and the reaction you had is entirely normal. Thecat06 put it really well; it takes a tremendous amount of energy to hold in this secret about yourself, and when you finally start to let it out... the dam bursts, and all of the feelings cooped up start to come out.

    It's an incredibly healthy thing. Vulnerability is necessary for us to feel love, show courage, express creativity, and nearly everything else worth doing in life. Coming out is opening to vulnerability, and with that comes access to emotions that are often long buried.

    You will probably find it strange and perhaps a little terrifying at first to feel these emotions... but the emotions are really what makes life worth living, and as you get more comfortable with yourself, it will be much easier to understand and integrate the emotions into a healthier self :slight_smile:
     
  4. Rice

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    Most times I have told people, I have cried!

    Usually they were the people who meant most to me and although I knew they wouldn't think any differently of me for me, deep down I worried that they would.
    I knew that it would change something - even though I knew it was for the better.

    It's a big step - so understandable that it will bring up a lot of different emotions.
     
  5. Cigsmoker

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    First of all, I would like to say a MASSIVE CONGRATULATIONS for having the profound realization of who you really are and the courage it took you to come out and tell your friends about it. I think everyone who does that deserve a round of applause!

    I came out when I was 15 to all my friends [then later to my sister] but I never experienced being so emotional. In retrospect, it would have been more awesome if I did. LOL. But I think crying is something of a therapy for you because you were able to let everything out, all the emotional baggage that has been blocking you from being completely and genuinely happy all this time.
    So yeah, I think its pretty normal that you experienced that. Great, even!

    Cheers!
    Cigsmoker [Sam]
     
  6. mikey1345

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    I do the same thing. Ive come out to 3 people so far (both brothers and dad) and ive cried everytime! congrats on coming out!
     
  7. Yossarian

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    Crying does not mean that you are not ready to come out, it only means that telling someone is an important emotional experience for you. Some people cry, some people fidget or giggle, others tap their feet or crack their knuckles. You are just doing what is natural for YOU. Don't worry about it. If you are telling someone, it is not too early, it is the "just right" time for you, or you wouldn't be doing it.
     
  8. Canfer

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    Like these two said, It's perfectly normal to cry at these times. It happened the first and second time I came out to some of my friends.

    And congratulations! It's suck a relief after you came out to someone :wink:!
     
  9. EleanorHunter

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    I'm hardly an emotional person, but I've cried when coming out. The first time was when I came out to my mom. We were in a fight and I had already been crying, but coming out just brought all the tears back. Then this weekend, when I told my grandma, it took everything I had not to burst out crying in front of her. Then again, she was about to cry too, so I wasn't the only one. I bawled as soon as she left.

    I think it's normal, and a good thing. Coming out is supposed to be a huge burden off your shoulders; a perfectly good reason to be emotional. It's a big step. It's not a sign of coming out too early. If anything it shows you were ready to come out and couldn't take it any longer!
     
  10. OnWisconsin

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    Damn, you all are awesome. :slight_smile: Thanks for making me feel not-so alone in all this and for the great advice!!!!!
     
  11. SLBC94

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    Firstly, congrats on coming out!!!! (*hug*)

    As for me, I tend not to show my emotions although I am a very emotional person. The first time I came out I felt numb and didn't really show any emotion as I was kind of shocked that I had actually done it.

    However... the second time I came out it was to my best friend of 10 years who I consider to be a sister and I bawled my eyes out!!!!! And I very rarely cry. It was literally three hours of me and her sitting in a car in the middle of the night whilst I blurted out every little thing I had felt and thought about my being gay in between sobs. It was every single emotion I had bottled up and denied for so many years finally bursting through the walls I had built up for so long. The relief I felt afterwards was amazing. I personally wouldn't take it as a sign of coming out to early, it's just a release of strong, raw emotions in my opinion. :slight_smile: