Hi everyone, I'm a complete closet lesbian and I'm about to start university and I kinda want to come out then but I'm worried since like their's like 4 other people I know of who are attending the same university, although not the same course they'll still be their plus I have a family friend who's also at the same university but I think he'll be graduating thing year. I don't want them to judge me since I've always been like the perfect cheerleader and student and I think this would give them the right to look down on me but I really do want to meet people with the same sexuality and I'm worried if I don't come out I'll have ruined my university experience by being in the closet but also worried I might ruin it by coming out. I'm torn between both options but more so I'm afraid of the consequences of being different since I know for sure it will spread and I don't want my family to know yet, not until I'm more comfortable with other people knowing about it but I don't think they would find out if I'm just out in college and I've already accepted that I'm a lesbian to myself but not completely comfortable with others knowing. I don't know what to do...
Do you have a close friend that you talk to that isn't at your uni? maybe you could to talk to them come out when your ready and you feel is the right time
I don't, at least not anymore but I wouldn't trust him with this though since like all my friends in high school would straight up back stab you to become more popular which I kind of did the same thing. I kind of want to just rip the band aid off though cause the weight this puts on me but I like people thinking of me as pretty and smart but if I come out would I just be known as a lesbian?
Well that's how people should see you and not just a lesbian you sound like a nice girl and I hope you find someone you can trust to come out to because you need that support system around you I hope people see me as a nice person and not just a lesbian
Don't worry I can clearly see you're a good person and not just a lesbian since like you're putting time just to reach out and help me with my issues. I just don't know where I can find people who would support and not judge me since my friends would all judge and my parents would probably disown me since like my older brother got disowned and kicked out when he got someone pregnant at 16.
Oh god that doesn't sound good that is sad that if you came out to your parents that they would do that I hope you meet someone in uni you can talk to and not judge you because you are who are and you can't change that whatever people might say are they LGBT support groups in your uni you know of?
I think their's two but I don't know if I should join since if people found out I was in it, everyone would find out. I'm hoping to luck out and meet someone at uni in like my course or something who'd be okay with it and is pro gay but I'm probably going to attract the girls who like to judge other people as friends.
Hello, the way you're feeling right now is definitely normal. Remember you don't have to come out if you don't feel totally comfortable with doing so. One thing I would say though, is that people at uni are probably the most open minded bunch of people and I'm speaking from experience. University is such a diverse place and pretty much anything is accepted. People won't look at you as a lesbian, because it doesn't define you as a person. People will over look it and see it as something which makes you even more interesting. I came out during the summer before I started back in my final year of uni. Everyone accepted it, although I was pretty nervous to come back once everyone had found out. But they just treated it as it was normal, which it is! I honestly don't think staying in the closet will be detrimental to your uni experience. To be fair, you'll have that much going on in your life that you'll hardly have time to think about anything else. Just enjoy uni as much as possible and try not to let one little detail such as your sexuality hamper that in anyway. Do what you feel is best for you and most of all be happy and be yourself, people will admire you for that!! There's really no rush to come out if you don't want to just yet.
thanks for your advice, I'll probably come out after I let some time pass and I've made friends who like me for me and not because lots of guys like me.
