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How to tell friends you know will be supportive?

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by WearyWanderer, Jan 21, 2014.

  1. WearyWanderer

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    Taking title from another topic because it reminded me. :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:
    Anyway, there's this friend that I usually trust with almost anything, and she's very close to me. She's told me many times that she's very supportive of the LGBT community, and even has a family friend who is gay. I've been thinking that when I come out to some friends, she'd probably be the first. I know that she'd almost surely be supportive of me.
    But I'm worried. Because there's this nagging sensation that if I come out to her, she'll tell a few close friends, and then that will eventually trickle down to everyone. And that's the last thing I want. I know she'd probably only be trying to help, but I'm just not ready for anyone else to know. I'm also worried that if she doesn't tell anyone then she'll try to pressure me to come out. Now, fully coming out at my high school in my area is not an option. It's a very white, upper-class, conservative, and more importantly homophobic part of town. I just couldn't do it. And I don't want anyone pressuring me to do something that I can't do.
    When I told some family members that I was bi, they were all very supportive, but many of them warned me of one thing: "be careful about who you tell." At first I thought they were talking about not telling a friend who might be homophobic, but what if there's more to it than that? What if some friends are supportive, but aren't really understanding, you know? I'm going back and forth on whether she seems like that type of person. At first glance, she easily doesn't. But she might just want to "help" me...I really want to tell her but am really scared to do so.
    Help would be greatly appreciated. :slight_smile:
     
  2. Batmanishere

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    Hi, I have a friend who recently came out to me as lesbian, so I knew shed accept me. After I told her I felt so much better.

    Maybe just have an honest talk with your friend. Tell him/her that this is very important to you and that you hope to keep it a secret until you ready.

    If he/she is supportive they will understand.

    Hope I helped. Best of luck to you :3