Right, so i plan to finally tell one of my best friends that i am gay. It has taken me a long time t work up the courage, and i have been wanting to tell somene for a while, but i have been apprehensive for the usual reasons. My main issue is obviously telling me parents, who are muslims. I am still not sure if i can ever tell them, or if at least there wont be a fallout. My mum will eventually be fine with it, but not my dad. My dad has expressed his opinions somewhat subtely about homosexuality. I am just fed up of feeling alone, and i feel like nothing is going to change anytime soon unless i take the next step. I feel i can tell my friend, she has shared secrets with me. She lives far away now so it will have to be a conversation on facebook. It isnt ideal but i think its good because i am too scared to do it face to face and there isnt anyone else i would be prepared to tell first. So i am sharing this iwht you becauae i want some general advice. Like, how do i start? I dont even know where to begin...just tell me anything please Thanks!!!
It depends whether you trust your friend will keep your secret or not, is he also religious? what are his views on homosexuality? Do you still live with your parents? Is there any chance they would kick you out if they found out? I am not trying to put you off, just exploring the options. You could always tell your mother if you feel she will accept it. You may want to look at this website, which is a support group for LGBT Muslims in the UK: Welcome to Imaan
She can keep a secret, i trust her. She is a little, but very liberal. I dont know what she thinks directly but she doesnt seem like someone who will judge someone on anything like that. I do. The plan is to get myself financially supported. Hopefully that will be within a year. But i dont want to fall out with them. I might work may way up, henc why i am telling this friend. But what i am really asking for is advice about telling this friend, irrespective of my general coming out agenda...
Just tell her that you have something you want to tell her, but only if she promises to keep it to herself. When she says yes, and she will, then tell her that you have realized that you are attracted to boys instead of girls, that you are just getting used to the idea, and that you need someone who you can trust to talk with about it, so you have chosen her. Then go from there. You don't have to say "I am gay" to her in so many words, but you need to be comfortable with looking at a mirror and saying it to yourself before telling her.
Well, it it isnt exactly "i have come to realise", its been a very long time since i knew. I guess saying the three words "i am gay" is blunt, but there is no way to really put it, and i dont really want to flower it.
Well only you really know if you can trust your friend or not. If you trust your mother more than you could tell her instead. You will have to chose which one makes the most sense for you, if any make sense.
