Here is the full story, basically I found out someone I used to go to school with was gay (I will call him 'K') as they announced it on facebook (about 2years ago). I started talking to them and since they were going through the same thing I thought I could open up to them and stuff. So I told them about me and we hanged out for awhile. During this time I told him not to tell anyone that I was gay as I am not ready for anyone else to know. He agreed that he would not tell anyone, our friendship lasted awhile (several months) until he decided that he thought I wanted to be more than friends and said he didn't want to speak to me anymore, I felt like I had been used 100% (I refuse to get into this now as it is so long and it will get me angry lol). So yesterday I decided to have a get together with some friends and I invited 3 of them around my house, we were talking and stuff then randomly one of my friends who I will call 'B' said I heard you were gay from 'K'. I was in total shock... I didn't deny or confirm it as two of my other friends were there and it made everything very awkward. B then told me that K told him and a few other people about 2years ago, which was around the time I told him. I brushed it off as nothing but when everyone left my house I felt so depressed. I am in total shock that 'K' would out me to other people and then pretend to my face that he hasn't told anyone. I thought I could trust him but obviously not. My other friend who was there who I will call 'M' said to me this the next day when everyone left "look, I don't care if you are gay or not it doesn't matter to me, if you have something to tell me then tell me", I said "I don't", then he said "cool, everything is fine then". I thought that was very sweet. I just cannot believe 'K' would do that to me and I think I am more hurt because 'K' was the first person I told about myself. I actually hate him and haven't spoken to him in ages and don't plan on talking to him but I am really depressed and now I don't really feel comfortable with myself... I just don't understand what anyone would get out of outing someone to other people, I think its so wrong, it wasn't his decision to make. Why do think people out people, what do they get out of it? I just want to move on and forget about everything, I just need to meet new people now and make new friends, hopefully 2014 will be a good year for me. I am just worried that I won't be able to trust people anymore...
In your case I don't really know what to say, he may have done it as a "revenge" but who knows. Anyway I think it is quite safe to assume that you are better not having anything to do with that guy anymore. There are also some people that just love gossiping and can't help it. It is a matter of getting to know people, if you know what to expect from them you will never be dissapointed. I guess thats the kind of thig that you learn in the hard way. It just means that we need to choose carefully who we trust! Anyway I hope everything goes nicely for you from now on!
Hi Robotman, Your username reminds me of this cartoon I used to watch when I was a kid (Robotman and Friends). It's so obscure I thought I had dreamed its existence. Anyway, I digress...ha ha ha. I'm sorry to hear that your 'friend' outed you. I'm in the coming out process and that's my big fear. I eventually plan on telling more people but for now, I only want my family to know. If it spreads to anyone else I'll know it had to be one of them who has told someone. It is nice that your friend 'M' offered his support though. I can't offer much advice beyond stating that waiting to come out in your 30s is 'not a good idea'! I think it's great that you've begun the process at your age. I hope that your family has reacted positively and that you keep getting positive reactions. Good luck!
Thanks Julieno and The Lost One... I just don't get why he would do that... Its just baffling to me... But it is what it is and I have to deal with it but I think I am so annoyed and shocked because I trusted him, even when we stopped talking, I just assumed he wouldn't say anything... Yeah, I am pissed he shouldn't have said anything... Like I don't understand what people get out of outing people... Does anyone know? I am just mainly worried that it will stop me from trusting people in the future and I don't want it to... But I think it will .
If you haven't then maybe it would a good idea to come out to the people who "K" told. At least then you can get support from those people.
You don't have to move on and make new friends. "M" sounds like a real friend who can be trusted, and already knows and has accepted you even if you haven't said those "three little words" to him yet. What do people get out of it? Cheap thrills for a few minutes for themselves. "K" was never really your friend; move on from him and don't waste time thinking about him; he isn't worth it, particularly if that experience is depressing you still.
The thing is I don't know how to move on... The is the problem... I don't know any other gay people and I don't know how to meet any, I am just lost with it now and I am in this cycle where everything is going on in my head on and on and over and over again... I just want to disappear and start over... Does anyone know what I should do?
