I have a list of questions. I already asked about coming out to my conservative mother who goes on anti-gay rants. The second question is how should I come out to people when I've been raised in a conservative Christian environment where they firmly believe that being gay is wrong and had a voting drive to vote against same sex marriage? Perhaps i should just move away. Far away. Maybe find a new church. I just hate being in the closet. It sucks.:bang:
I would go to a more accepting church if/when you can. I wouldn't recommend coming out to your church/community yet especially if you know they will not be supportive.
Okay... Generally, most anti-gays haven't encountered gay people, have met the wrong ones, or watched one of those cringe-worthy pride parades. Due to some out-of-context lines from the Bible, many people believe that scripture supports their stance. If your mom is one of those "Christians" who hasn't read the Bible, get her the King James version (most accurate on the market!) and prove it to her. Or read the Gay Christian 101 book. (The website can also help) To get the book, though, you'll need help. See if you can befriend some LGBT conservatives. (You might find some libertarians in your area, too.) Only come out to your mom when you have a stable financial situation. If she's really anti-gay, she might kick you out. Don't let that happen. Most conservative people really aren't as homophobic as left-liberals think they are. If you have some good friends, they will surely understand with time. Be rational. Don't let them act irrationally about the issue. You should probably wait it out, though. Change is gradual.
I had this same problem when I came out as bi; I still experience it to this day. My best advice is to start with people that you trust before moving on to just normal people. If they start to blow up at you, back away and don't press the issue. However, make sure that you won't promise to change for someone. That's just a disaster waiting to happen and it will be asked. Hold your ground, be yourself, and even if they aren't accepting where you are, know that we are here for you. But don't force people to accept it first-thing either. Some won't accept it, and that's okay; you don't need them if they won't be supportive. But forcing it on them is a surefire way to make sure that those that might have eventually gone for it definitely won't. So yeah, just stay calm, and start with people that you trust care about you and won't just run.
Thanks, everyone. I just get scared, confused and, alternatively, very angry and upset. It's confusing and it's really hard to sort out what I should do when I have so many conflicting ideas running though my head.
Hi. I'm assuming by DC you mean Washington, DC. If that's the case I would move out of your parents house if you're able too, but you don't have to run far. You might live in a conservative part of DC, but the city is very, very liberal as a whole. Heck, us gays can get married there! I don't live there, but friends have told me that there is a large and vibrant gay community there. So even if your parents aren't the most supportive bunch, you will be able to find support there. More so than in many areas in the country.
Just an update, I came out to my parents, which was relatively amicable, but Mom kept lecturing me about how being gay is wrong and against God, and then she changed to saying that it's only wrong to build a life with someone of the same sex if there is sexual intimacy in the relationship. Her thinking is that it's not wrong to be in a relationship with someone of the same sex as long as there is no sex involved. I guess that's progress, but it's frustrating. I was also able to move out for 10 months on my own, but then I had to move back in with them due to this crappy economy and financial constraints. I want to move out as soon as possible because I need my freedom from my parents' strict religious beliefs again! I've been in one relationship, and now in my second one, and this time it feels for real. Mom found out and blew up at me after pressing me to provide details of my weekend away with my girlfriend. She especially wanted to know if my relationship was sexual in nature. Why in the world does she insist on asking questions that she won't like the answers to? I try to evade her questions but she's insistent, like she wants to catch me in something that is wrong in her mind, according to her belief system so that she won't feel like a failure as a mother. It saddens me, and it is quite depressing that my parents don't seem to understand that I didn't choose to be gay, and nor did I do this to try to hurt them. Can't they see that I am happier now than ever before?
