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Alternatives to coming out as bi

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by ChromeNerd, Jan 26, 2014.

  1. ChromeNerd

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    I keep hearing people complaining about gay people who come out as bi before they come out as gay. I can understand the reasons why they don't like it.

    Unfortunately none of those people have offered any alternatives. Some people want to come out for support or to have relationships, but aren't 100% sure if they are bi or gay. I am in the closet because I'm in this situation.

    I know that my sexuality isn't other people's business. I still want support and I'm sick of hiding who I am. I am not comfortable saying that I'm not 100% sure of myself. I am extremely ashamed of this.
     
  2. stocking

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    You shouldn't be a shamed for not know not all of us are sure at first .
    I think maybe that's why some people use bi curious
    I'm so sick of people making other people feel bad because they came out as bi then realized their gay they act like if most of us did it on purpose
     
  3. campervankid

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    maybe you could say bi curious. loads of people at my school seem to think that bi is practically gay anyway like you have to be gay or straight and not somewhere in between. Just tell people you aren't sure and if they complain ignore them (or throw cake in their face). People seem to complain about everything these days anyway :slight_smile: Just be proud of who you are, even if you aren't quite sure who that is.
     
  4. PM92

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    I came out as bi before I came out as gay, for me it was more of a transition phase, I was never really interested in girls but for me it felt safer for me to do it like that as I was freaking out about it all... I did find though that coming out as gay after saying I was bi was even more terrifying... Looking back on it I should have just gone for it when I knew...

    I do have 1 friend (who's now out) who basically came out as "greedy" and when his family questioned why he said it was because he didn't know what he wanted so decided to try both... But personally that would not be my thing :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:
     
  5. mbanema

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    I don't think you should worry so much about how to label your sexual orientation. I know at least for me, the hard part was accepting for myself that I was not straight, not whether I'm gay or bi.

    It sounds like you're definitely attracted to girls, so say you're open-minded, not straight, lesbian, bisexual, whatever -- I don't think that is going to significantly impact anyone's reaction or opinion of you. If you label yourself one way and figure out later on that it's different from who you really are, that's fine too. Nobody worthwhile is going to hold that against you.
     
  6. EleanorHunter

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    My friend came out as questioning; she seems to like both guys and girls but can't decide on an "official" label/sexuality. It worked fine for her. Coming out as homoflexible could also work.