I havent told anyone I'm gay at all. My parents definitely aren't homophobic, seeing as my big brother has been out for years and they're fine with it, but my mum can sometimes treat matters differently with boys and girls, plus she's actually said "you better not be a lesbian, I want grandkids" which, yeah, is probably a joke, but I'm scared of being told "its just a phase" when they accepted my brother with open arms. Should I come out?
Why does it SCARE you? "It's just a phase" doesn't have any power over you. It doesn't change anything. It's unpleasant to know someone doesn't think we've thought things through, but it really isn't something to be worried about. If someone says it's just a phase, then ask them, "So what if it is?" Why shouldn't you go along with it. It doesn't harm anyone. It isn't something to be ashamed of. It has the potential to make you incredibly happy, if in 3 months time you decide you like guys, who cares? At least you were honest with yourself!
The best advice I can give you is do it whenever you think you are ready, do not rush it. If your parents accepted your brother I am sure they will accept you. I think you should tell your brother first and see what he says (if you haven't done so already), considering he went through the same sort of thing it would be good to get his opinion on it.
I think I'm just scared because it'll hurt to be doubted about my sexuality where my brother was accepted Immediately. I know in the long run it won't matter I'm just worrying. Thanks I'm sort of worried about the same thing from him as well, he can be a little insensitive and even though he came out at 13 I think he'd accuse me of not being sure of myself at 17. I'm probably just worrying for nothing though! I think your right, and I'll talk to him first, when I'm ready. Thanks
First of all, it's so very possible to still have grandkids when your children are gay. There's adoption (which is what my fiancee and I will be doing), AI, and other choices. So she cannot use that as a reason you can't be a lesbian. Second, it's not up to her or anyone else. They can say it's a phase all they want, they don't live in your body or mind. They don't know your heart like you do. You know who you are, and whether your mother and brother are accepting of it right away, they cannot define you. I do hope they will both be supportive of you, though.
She knows that I could still have kids, my brother and I were actually both AI babies so I think we would even bond over it if I ever decided to do it! Shes just always wanted me to be a bit more like her. I know that I will come out to her eventually, and I'm 99% sure that she'll be fine with it, its just that she'll be a little less fine with it than she was with my brother, that's all that's holding me back. It would definitely never stop me being who I am, just cause some family tension. Thank you
