So one of my close friends just recently got himself a girlfriend. He's a bit of an ass, so everyone is surprised and congratulating him. That's not the problem, though. The problem is that we all sit together at lunch, and now their attention is dead set on the other one of us that has never dated anyone before in the history of forever: me. They're completely obsessed with hooking me up with this one girl in our class who they think would be a perfect fit for me (I do actually enjoy talking to her, just because she's so awesome). I've just sort of refused, and when asked why, just sort of refused to explain. One of them is set on getting a "serious" reason why I won't ask her out. This is the second day it's come up at the lunch table, and it really would have been the perfect time to just come out. Here's a brief transcript: Her - "Give me one good reason why not." Me - "ahdofsuwelruancodsf-" Do you understand my pain? If it comes up again tomorrow, I really would love nothing more than to just say it, but I don't know if, in the heat of the moment, I will be able to. I just sort of freeze up and ponder about how quickly word will spread and what awkward questions people will ask and the weird looks I'll get and god forbid word gets to my parents before I can tell them on my own terms. There's always these moments when it just feels right, but I never act quickly enough to take advantage of them and just get it over with. This is agony. :help:
"Because I'm not attracted to her." Its true, you're not. You don't have to tell them anything else. If they start going on telling you how hot she is "She's not my type". Still true since your type is guys. If they ask what your type is "Fuck knows" and move on. You never know by the end of that you might feel the words "FUCK OFF I'M GAY!" just come flooding out without you needed to think about it.
Hey Turbo Turtle =) So there is one guy set on getting a serious reason, yeah? Maybe just take him aside before lunch and tell him. Then you wouldn't have to worry about word spreading around instantly but would have an ally when the conversation comes up again at the lunch table. Could maybe go something like this: "Hey, you want a good reason why I'm not asking this girl out? I'll give you one, I'm attracted to guys. But I'm not ready to tell the whole school, so for the time being could you keep it to yourself and stop directing the conversation towards my being single. I would really appreciate it if you got my back on this one." Good luck =)
Hi Turbo Turtle (I like the name, by the way ), I think IJustWantToLove had good advice - it would probably be easier to come out to the rest of your friends if you knew for sure you had at least one supportive ally among them. Maybe the one friend whose bugging you for a "serious reason," or maybe a different friend in that group who you're particularly close to, or who you feel would know how to respond best. They might even help steer the conversation for you to come out with everyone else if you asked them.
Well, if you feel ready, then just say it to them. If you don't want to tell all of them, then tell the friend that is pressuring you, like IJustWantToLove said. Or, another option, if you really don't want to tell any of them, just say that there's a lot going on in your family right now, and you're going through a hard time, and you just don't have time for a girlfriend. They'll respect that. In the end, it all depends on your comfort level. Do whatever you feel you need to do right now. Don't feel pressured to come out just because of them.
