I have zero respect for my dad, he is from Nigeria and for someone who has been in England for nearly 30 years, his hateful attitudes have not changed. He caught me on Huffington Post Gay Voices once and I have never been so scared in my life. I'd rather him not find out by going to school, mostly because I've told everyone , and I would never live it down if he found out that way. I've said if I ever get a boyfriend I'll get him to come to my house one day and tell my dad I have a boyfriend. That's about the only way I can think of. I hate hiding or lying about myself, but obviously my mum doesn't get that, and she isn't a homophobe, she just knows very little about gay people and thinks me coming out of the closet was a stupid idea and that I was opening my big mouth, and that right now is just a phase, even though what's happened to me over the last 5 years is more than enough confirmation. So how else would I tell him?
Tough spot to be in--I'm sorry. How did your dad react when he caught you on Gay Voices? My next response depends on you answer... Regards, /Ed.
He probably already knows and isn't happy about it, but doesn't want to talk about it. If you want to tell him, the usual ways suggested here, face-to-face, letter, email, give your Mom the OK to tell him for you, etc are all available to you. I doubt that HOW you tell him "officially" isn't the problem. Him dealing with his own homophobia and pride problems is what will ease the path for you. It might help to start with some PFLAG literature for your Mom, so she can get some ideas going about how to bring the matter up for discussion with your Dad, and help you with it.
He said something like there are things on the internet that will try to mess your mind up, and that it doesn't matter to him what other people choose to be, just what I choose to be, not that I chose to be gay.
Well that sounds almost open minded for someone who has had a very limited schema of the world dont you think? He might have over reacted, and may continue to when you tell him (in whatever way you choose), but it sounds like your dad loves you very much, and at the end of the day his love will overpower his anger at the unknown. Many people who are confronted with something they dont understand reject it, in whatever way, some ignore it, some get small and let it smother them, some try to fix it, and some try to fight it.... He will love you no matter what, and I bet he will find a way to accept you. Its just ripping the band-aid off. You have to for the wound to finish healing, but it hurts like hell. Light and love,
It would be dangerous for me to tell him, my 26 year old sister is bisexual with a 1 year old son and she thought she was gay when she was younger, and he said if any child of mine is gay I will banish them from the house. Luckily, I have two friends that live 10-15 minutes away ---------- Post added 29th Jan 2014 at 08:39 AM ---------- He was on the phone to one of his friends before and he was saying Obama only supported gay marriage for votes and he said they can do whatever they want but if they try to push themselves onto him he will not accept it, but he has a maSsive problem when his kids are gay.
If he has said that then for your safety you might need to (unfairly to you) keep it from him until you are older.
