Ok so I want to tell my grandma and grandpa because I want them to know and I want them to love me for me not for they think is me. I have no idea how my grandpa will react and I have no idea how my grandma will react. The only instances that would make me consider them being un-excepting is that ounce I brought up the idea of adoption and my grandma got all into family pride and how I needed to pass on the legacy of our family and that me and my WIFE would need to have kids to pass on the legacy. I have over ten cousins so they are getting grandkids no matter what. I want to tell them because they deserve to know but I don't know how and I want to do it soon because my grandma is getting really old and I want to tell them before they pass away and I don't see them that often and I want to tell them the next time I see them I just don't know how. :help:
You know, EXTREMEZish, I don't have a good response for you. Grandparents are such a special case. Two (at least) generations removed from you--with all the cultural/societal/grandparentish expectations that come from being grandparents. I have a dear young friend (24 years old--old to you, but so young to me) who was out to everyone but his grandparents. He just didn't think it was so important that they know him as a gay person, because they knew him in every other way, and because they already had a really deep love for one another. Anyway, his grandmother died a year or two ago without him telling her, and he was okay about it. But 2 weeks ago, there he was at his 24th birthday celebration with family, sitting next to his (quite elderly) granddad, holding hands with his new boyfriend, and everyone was fine, even papa as they called him. And their affection for each other was so clear that it could make you weep. So, no advice here. Just a story. Take from it what you will. /Ed.
I can definitely understand that. I have a great relationship with all four of my grandparents, but I don't think I'll ever come out to them unless I have a really good reason to (like I find someone to spend the rest of my life with). I don't know, I just don't have the same desire for them to know that I have for my parents. I know this isn't something they'd be at all comfortable with and since being closeted to them doesn't bother me I don't think it's worth it. If I ever decide I want my grandparents to know I'm gay, that will mean I'm already out to my parents in which case I'll probably have them break the news for me. XTREMEZish, that is by no means meant to discourage you from coming out to your grandparents. If it's important to you, then by all means do it. I see your status says "All but family" though. If you haven't told your parents, I recommend you do that first. I think it would be easier for them to hear it from you than from your grandparents.
I'm out to my dad and my other grandparents on my mom's side of the family. One of them I only met once so don't really care if they know but my grandparents on my dad's side. The ones I'm talking about, have guided me my hole life and I love them and it is important for them to know even if I am young. I will tell my mom before hand.
My mother knows my daughter is bisexual and is supportive (although somewhat of the mind that "she will outgrow it.") My husband's mother and step-father have both passed away as has my father. My husband's father and step-mother are alive and are very unlikely ever to be told about my daughter. They are very, very conservative and would be very verbally objective to her being "different." If you don't know how they will react have you thought about other tests of their views like when you mentioned adoption? Maybe open the subject of LGBT rights and see their reactions. If they are negative then either wait a bit on the conversation and try to open there minds on the general LGBT issue instead of the personal, or prepare for it to be a rough conversation with some hurt feelings on everyones part. If they are neutral or positive then go from there on planning how/when/if to tell them. Whatever you choose to do, good luck. I hope you get all the love and support that you deserve.
