I'm afraid of what my family will think when i tell them...

So, I've had this online relationship for near 2 years, and today things got serious, he's my first boyfriend, and i only really started going out with him originally because we were talking about "stuff" and we grew naturally into a couple, today i saw him for the second time, the first we was more just friends to see what it would be like in person, but today, we snogged, and we couldn't stop really, well it was either snogging every chance we got, hugging or holding hands, my problem with that is that i was panicky when other people came along, like walking there dogs, but that'll knock out of me, my issue is that now thnigs are serious, and because it's kind of a long distance, I'm feeling like my parents might ask questions after a while when i see him more and spend entire weekends with him, his mum is awesome, she knows about me and him and his sexuality and just thinks it's sweet her boy has found someone he loves, my mum on the other hand... bassically last year i told my mum I had a boyfriend and it was THE worst thing i've ever done or experienced, she beged me not to pursue my homosexuality and it was a phase, and told me my dad would hate it and everything, this was sometime ago now, and I think she thinks I'm not going to pursue it, they know when i go to my boyfriends hometown but they don't know he's a boyfriend, just a friend, but I know sooner or later my parents will either get curious as i said, or i may have to tell them eventualy, I was worrying today wether they would ask questions about why i go that far to see a friend but they didn't, but they will probably at somepoint... what do i do? I'm thinking of moving out of my parents house, because im 18 with a job, I can kind of manage that almost, but my boyfriend thinks it would be a bad idea, I agree, but it brings me down thinking about the future with my parents either being there but arseholes or not there all together, same with family in general, advice would be great please just on what i should do, best thing to do and everything, I honestly couldn't say i've ever been as happy as i was today with my boyfriend, so i know I should pursue it, but is it right if there's the possibility of losing my family? and if it is right, how should i do it? knowing what my parents are like, I need to tell them eventually, should I look at moving away so it doesn't affect me to much?

 

thanks for the help guys, glad I know the path i need to take, sucks it's not the easiest but when I'm with my boyfriend it's the happiest I ever am so it's all worth it, I'm thinking of looking for a job near where he lives, then moving down there, would you guys consider that to be a good step to take? thanks

 

thanks for the advice guys, I think if they ever ask I'll tell them the truth, although as much as i hope they ask so i can get it over with, I hope they don't at the same time just so i can do it when i really want, I'm pretty much certain my parents will hate it when they find out though, my brother once said at the dinner table that my dad hates it when he says i'm gay, like tell's my dad I'm gay as a joke, that conversation made me feel so uncomfortable it was unreal, , I'm constantly thinking about what other family members would think, but, I can never really be sure about them, my grandparents are rather high n mighty, as in not neseciarily strict, but they don't like swearing and stuff, but at the same time i think they would support me as much as they can when i come out, a problem is though, my grandad on my dad's side is really ill, has heart problems and stuff, when i told my mum she said it was a bad time because of my grandad, should I take that into consideration to? I'm thinking wether i should time it so he's been in a stable condition for a while or maybe I should wait until he's dropped, im not saying he's going to go anytime soon, but he's so unstable that it's hard to tell if he'll be around in a few years or less than one year.

 

I'm not sure wether my brother knows 100%, he's the sort of person to just take the piss and since i carry a few feminine traits which people may use the term "gay" for, he takes the piss a little, when i told my mum, we was in the kitchen and my brother burst in to speak to my mum thne i ran upstairs to my room, my mum shouted at my bro, he went upstairs then she bought me back down, if that isn't clue enough to him that i was telling my mum i was gay i don't know what is, as to wether I could tell him, I've never been sure, he has, or used to have a friend who is gay, I don't know if they still talk but there is that, he is the gangster sort though, I can't tell if he'll accept and support, or ignore, we do get along quite well these days, as annoying as he can be, and i wont say it alot, but as childish as he is, he can be quite mature and caring, compasionate and supportive, as to wether his gangsta persona may over take with regards to my sexuality and wether he can accept that much im not sure. I'm not really thinking about coming out and dealing with any consequences right now, but since me and my boyfriend are becoming more serious and sexual, eventually I'll be sleeping round on some weekends and I don't know wether, if my parents become suspicous, I tell them and accept there may be consequences, or lie to them and make up a bogus excuse, although lieing to them went through my mind alot when i last saw my boyfriend, mainly how long the lie will last, since i spoke to my mum I always worry she'll start bringing it up with me again and i worry that i'll have to tell her since i already told her before, even though she's dismissed it before I can't tell her im straight again then a few months or a year later drop the bomb that i always had the boyfriend? I don't actually go to school anymore moltiva, finished that a couple years ago, I have a full time job now, and although the pay isn't great, if i need to relocate i doubt it will be to hard now to get another job closer to my boyfriend for support and afford to rent a house or flat for a little bit

 

thanks king, I'll see how the future unfolds, I kind of think she might just avoid it and block the fact im gay, I don't really have a desire, I'm just 50/50 as to wether i should tell them before they become suspicous or hold of for as long as possible lol, I'll hold off for a bit then just fast track my plans of moving out on my own accord then tell them then.