Ok so recently I came out to my friends/school as gay. Everyone was fine with it and I am the only person who is out as gay, and is a guy. The only problem is that everyone treats me differently. My friends just act differently or awkward around me, like I have an eagle on my head or something like that. I just want everyone to joke around as usual and have no tension between me and my friends. Any advice on how to have them not act awkward around me.
Well, this is new to them, so it's going to take time for them to adjust to the "new" you. If your guy friends are feeling awkward around you, maybe assure them that you're not going to hit on them
Try to show them you are the same person. Maybe make some jokes about you being gay so that they can see it's not something they should tread carefully? Were they okay with it before you came out publicly?
It really is up to you to show them how you want them to act. It might be that you just have to straight up ask them "why are you acting so different?" Friends are a precious recourse, and a disscussion about it to clear the waters would be a good thing, even if its just to see where all of you stand on the matter. Other than that, give them time. Finding out somebody you know is gay can be a big shock, and can take a while to get adjusted to. Good luck, I hope you can get it figured out!
I do joke about it and I have bean trying to show them its ok to joke about it. They where ok with it and they actually got really mad at a kid for homophobic before I came out. So they are fine with it. I'll give it some more time.
Maybe they're just feeling a bit awkward--perfectly natural. And maybe they're just wary on your behalf--protective of you because they care. See you own comment about them. But hey, this is all really new to those you know. Give them a little time, be patient with yourself, and with them. And just be yourself! That was the whole point of coming out, right? Everything will be fine. Your friends will still be friends, judging from your comments, and you'll feel even closer to them, because they actually know who you really are. Regards, /Ed.
Um.. this is why I choose only to tell my close friends. AND ONLY girls. Guys will be all ackward around you. I will tell only people in college beacuse kids in high school are dumb.
It's perfectly natural for them to feel differently. And they'll continue to feel differently until you and them both scrape away that "ice" that has been forming. How do you get rid of that "ice"? Just be yourself, warm up to them like you always do, let them know that you're still the same person. Accept that they will feel awkward for a little bit, it's new to them and some people need a bit of time to absorb it
Thanks for the help. I know a lot of people are not mature so I hang out with the people who are mature (most of the time) and the ones who are smart. I will take all of this advice and see how it turns out. By the way I'm not in high school I'm in middle school.
If they're treating you differently because of who you are, I don't think they were very good friends in the first place. It's their loss, not yours.
I completely agree. If they're that small-minded, they won't get far and they certainly don't deserve to be your friend.
Well, you should have seen this coming, you living in Silent Hill and all... they are so Republican it seems as if their whole town is covered in blood. Yeah, all joking aside, I am very tempted to do the whole, "Well they weren't real friends then, were they?" speech. I doubt that they are treating you different because they think poorly of you or anything along those lines, you said it yourself you are the only gay student so they are unsure of how to react. My thoughts are that they are scared to react and offend you, or not to react and then offend you (if they thought you came out for attention). Wait- I'm not meaning to offend you either, I don't know your friends, so, yeah. If it gets unbearable/ they don't knock it off, you can always give them the friendly reminder that you are still the person that they knew before you came out. Again, it really seems to me that it's simply that they have never been exposed to the thought before and they never thought of how they would react if their friend was gay. Give it some time, let the school gossip die out, and live the rest of your High School life~
Middle school - Ah, I remember that pond To be completely honest some people just can't adapt. They think just cause you're gay or bi that you've changed entirely and (unless you have) they'll treat you differently. Those guys can't be helped. Hanging around more mature people - that's the thing to do and you're doing it well. Keep on going and most people *will* (100% fellow scout guarentee) acclimate, and stop treating you "awkwardly". Enjoy middle school while it lasts!
If I'm being completely honest, they don't sound like real friends to me. Your real friends wouldn't treat you awkwardly or differently because you've come out as gay. They would be 100% supportive of you and your decision to come out. Wouldn't you rather surround yourself with people who don't treat you any differently because of your sexuality? Having one friend who doesn't care about your sexuality is better than having however many friends who do care about your sexuality and who make a fuss about it. There's nothing to make a fuss about. You're the same person that you always were.
