Most of my family knows, and is supportive, but doesn't really understand. The most my mom did was attempt to give me advice, with the best intentions, but it wasn't very helpful. We've brought the subject (of my sexuality) up a total of two, maybe three times. It's basically forgotten. I'm glad about that. I don't want to talk about it, with them at least. It's just a bit awkward. However, the downside of this is that I'm just as alone as I was before I came out to them. I've tried to build up the courage to tell a good friend of mine (if you all remember my previous topic), but I can never find a good time to. I never seem to be able to have a moment alone with her. I've almost done it many times over text or something, but I can't find the right way to say it. I'm just at a loss with how to tell her. All I can do is drop hints with her and hope she catches on, but my hints are feeble at best. I'd like to think that she might suspect I'm not straight, but people only see what they want to see in others. I just don't know. I really want to tell her. For my family, I guess I felt more obligated to tell them just so they aren't confused if (and when) I have a boyfriend. They had a right to know. But this person, I think it would be a huge weight off my shoulders, and I think it would help me a lot. I need somebody to talk to about this. And I think she could be that someone. She's helped me in the past, she could help me now. I just don't know how to tell her. What should I do?? Any help would be appreciated. Thanks so much.
Tell her. You're still on the edge of the cliff, and if you're really ready, just jump... Easy for me to say...
If you really are worried and can't seem to find the "right" words, it might just be easy to be super blunt about it and say "I'm gay." I had a friend of mine whom I really wanted to tell, but I couldn't seem to find a way to do it smoothly/nonchalantly, so as one conversation ended, I just said it straight to her face. And she was really chill with it. Or, if you would rather text her because you cannot get her alone, you could say something along the lines of, "Hey, ____, I want to tell you something because I really trust you and feel like you could help me. I'm gay and ...." or you could just say "I'm gay." and wait for a response. There really is no perfect way to do it; anyway you do it is perfect! Good luck, and I hope I helped!
I agree with Projectfabulous one hundred percent. Sometimes the simplest things are the most effective things. Commit to it and just tell the person. It's going to be hard, it will be challenging, but keep your head up and it will definitely be worth it. I came out to one of my best friend when I'm drunk, and I really really regret not being able to do it face to face. Remember, and it's really one of the hardest things to truly know, is that you will never ever be alone. In your worst times, there is always someone you can lean on, and if you believe, it will come. Besides, we're all here for you!
so far every person I thought about telling, the misery I put myself through debating how/whether to tell them has been vastly outweighed by the relief after I told them. of course they were all supportive, so that was a huge factor as well.
texting it is fine. it gives them time to pick their jaw up off the floor. lol which i had to when a friend let me know she was bi.
I came out to my friend via text (this was my first time coming out to anybody ever) and I basically said "I don't know how else to say this, so here goes. I'm pansexual." And she replied in a matter of seconds and it was totally cool. It sounds like you and your friend are pretty close, so if you do try texting, you can probably just keep it short and too the point. If somebody were coming out to me, I'd find over embellished texts kind of annoying. After you tell her, just let her take time to process it, and answer any questions she may have. Then it should be all good. I hope this helps!
If you have made it your goal to tell her by the end of the week then work on backups. Make a plan on telling her. While you work on speaking to her write a letter to her that tells her. Address it. Put a stamp on it. Have it ready. Try to talk to her in person. If you can't work up to it try to call her on the phone. If you cant work up to that try to text her. If you can't work up to that hand her the letter. If you get to the end of the week and you have not told her then drop that letter in the mail. Make sure it is a public mail box that you cannot get open to take it back out. One way or another you will have succeeded. Having a backup can very often give you more courage to do a thing you want to do.
