I had a chance to come out

I know what you mean. I don't really pay much attention to organized religion, but my parents raised me Catholic and when I was young they had me go through the Confirmation process. At the conclusion of that was a mandatory retreat, and at the end everyone there received a big envelope full of really touching, emotional letters from their parents, grandparents, etc.

My dad is not a very emotional person and we've never been able to really talk to each other about anything personal, but he wrote something that is very special to me and I've often thought that whenever I actually force myself to come out (I really hope it happens soon...) that it will be in large part because of this. I've even thought of doing it in writing as a response to this letter almost 11 years later, but at this point I think it's more likely to happen in person.

Here are a couple of small excerpts:

Anyways, I guess this isn't helpful at all, it just really reminded me of this.

I strongly urge you to take advantage of the opportunity your dad has given you to talk to him about this; some people are comfortable talking to their parents about pretty much any subject but for others it can be difficult and these windows don't open very often.

Go and tell him you've been thinking about what he said, do it in writing, or a video, or however you think will be the easiest. It seems extremely likely that he'll be loving and supportive so don't make the same mistakes I've made and get stuck in the closet for far too long.

All the best!

 

Sometimes an invitation like that gives you exactly the opportunity you need to come out to a person, but other times it catches you off guard. What's important here is that your dad seems to have given you a heartfelt indication that no matter what you tell him, he will love you work hard to learn how he can best support you.

Rather than seeing this as a missed opportunity, recognize that the opportunity is still open. If you want to come out to him, remind him what he said and ask him if that still applies. When he says yes (and of course he will) you have the perfect chance to tell him again. Assuming that is what you want to do, just try to be calm and confident, and don't act like its a big deal. That seems to help.

 

I agree with everyone else--you should still take the opportunity to tell your dad. He sounds pretty open-minded and it's great that he opened up the chance for you to come out, which might make it easier on you.

 

As the other people have said, you can mention what your dad said because really, I can't think of any better time to come out than after that. Bringing it back up will get his attention, so you can just say "i'm lesbian," and let him think about it and respond in his own time. Its important to never rush things, and just let people approach things as they see fit.

From the sound of it, your dad will be open minded and accepting, so... Yeah. I hope this helps.

 

Ok well first off I just have to say I've had some really good opportunities to come out but I didn't. And the way he said that sounds like he already knows so really it's up to u when u wanna come out.

 

If you're feeling like you want to, you can say something like "remember when you said that I could tell you anything and you'd keep an open mind? Well, I've been thinking and there is something..."

 

I haven't read the other responses because I'm too tired to do that, so forgive me if I sound repetitive.

My honest opinion is, I'll bet he already suspects you're a lesbian. He probably doesn't want to ask you if you're gay because that'd be super uncomfortable if he was wrong, so I think he's fishing and trying to get you to say it. My dad did the same thing to me when I came out, and he said he had suspected for over a year!