This is a bit long, but I really wanted to say this, because I feel like coming out would put things together, and at the same time everyone just makes it so much more difficult. Ever since I figured out I was bi, I realized it wouldn't be such a shocker to the slightly narrow minded people I see on a daily basis if I came out as interested in both girls and boys. I even thought it would be good for other people that aren't straight in my school, because if someone came out, I'd totally find more confidence in myself and all. Anyways, there is a girl I've been friends with for such a long time and we really get along. And one time she asked me if I was gay and I said no, but I didn't say I was bi either, and we talked about it. I was almost gathering courage when she said that it was a shame because she had been wanting a gay best friend. I just thought that was disgusting, coming from a friend, and that she wasn't trying to be helpful or anything, only really selfish towards other people's lifes (and she didn't mean it as just a joke). So I discarded this girl because she's been acting like a croc of shit and I don't want her involved in my coming out because I feel like she'd be in it for herself and I think it would be worse in the end. There is yet another girl, this one actually says she is bi but everyone thinks she isn't, for some reason (probably because she's really gorgeous and meant for guys only... :bang: ) I've thought about talking to her about this for a while because she's been out as bi for a long time and we've known each other for a couple of years and all... So last year, at the graduation party when I was very drunk, I told her I also liked boys, and she instantly fucked it up. She turned to the first guy she saw and told him, jokingly, that I also liked boys. I mean, the guy is my friend's brother and he has a girlfriend, so she basically outed me, only he didn't get it and was probably too drunk to remember. I told her to just stop it and not to mention it to everyone if she wasn't interested in helping. Essentially, any expectations I had for making things better by coming out have been shattered. I don't feel like there is anyone I can rely on with this sort of thing, and it would just make me feel so out of place, when it really shouldn't. I'm lost now, I'll have to go through two more years of high school in the closet, and I feel like what I really want is to come out! And I know that it isn't always easy and that I shouldn't hide in the closet because of other people, but in general, everyone's fine with me, and I don't know how that would be if I came out, especially without any support whatsoever. I guess it's just the sort of thing you kind of do blindly, as there is no way to know the outcome, but it's a step I can't take back, and in these circumstances I don't know if I'm ready to do it. What you think?
You are the only person who knows when you are ready to come out. While you do need to come out to a person who cares about you and will support you and keep your secret while you want it kept, you have to decide when you are ready. If you feel like it would make you feel "out of place" but you "really want to come out" at the same time, that is pretty normal. If you DO decide to come out now, there will be people who support you and people who will shy away from you; this is how you find out who your real friends are; hopefully you will have some who will stick with you, and meet some new ones who accept you as you authentically are after you tell them who you are. Good luck with your decision, whichever way it goes, and you can always come here to talk, where everyone accepts you just as you are.
It seems you don't have the best luck with these girls, but from what you've wrote I'm feeling waves of confidence and a "I don't need to come out to feel better about myself" vibe. And... You really don't. If people don't accept you, that's their own opinion. And I'd they do, it kinda sucks because you're immediately stereotyped. Who wants their sexuality to be their defining trait? If there's a close friend who you want to tell, go for it. Just make sure they're not homophobic don't gossip too too much or are selfishly looking for a "gay bff". Best of luck!
