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Coming in again

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by total mo, Jul 4, 2008.

  1. total mo

    total mo Guest

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    I know this is an old issue, but don't we all agree that people who hide back in the closet are just in denial? I am going to be hanging out with a bunch or religious gay people who tell themselves they have converted. I would definitely feel weird around them. How do I tell them their mistakes without going over the top? I really respect them, since they also respect me of my orientation, but I really don't think they are right, and is it just me, or the font size for typing is now a little bigger?
     
  2. Phixit

    Regular Member

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    When you say ‘back in the closet’ do you mean they were once out, then went back into the closet.?

    If so there are some people that did not realise they were gay or ‘not 100% straight’ quite late in life, and some people realise quite early. Every ones different, there is a possibility that some came out as gay thinking they were and realising that they are not 100% gay after all, it works both ways.

    I’m not saying people don’t go into denial about their sexuality because it does happen, I’m just saying keep an open mind =)

    Is that what you mean? I’m completely off the mark tell me =P
    x
     
  3. Quitex

    Quitex Guest

    I would be totally included in that group of guys, so let me give you my insight.
    No pointing fingers. Don't tell them what's right or wrong. Just accept them the way they are. Hang out as if they were just friends, not 're-closeted friends'. They won't take the subject of being gay or sexuality at all, so don't bring it up yourself.
    They mishgt ask you the reasons of why you're 'still gay'. Answer politely, with a 'I am this way, thanks for caring' or something along this lines, but do not attack their points of view. It is more likely for you to lose a discussion when there are several of them and one of you.

    PS. No, not all people re-closeted are in denial. Some of them are still trying to find out *raises hand* and others, specially religious gay people, are trying to figure out if God is really OK with it *raises hand, again* <.<
    Ok, I'll stop here, I won't hickjack your thread.
     
  4. total mo

    total mo Guest

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    They told me that homosexuality is definitely a sin because it is in the word of god. They said it is part of the curse after the fall of eden, so some of us are subjected to being gay and that we have to fight it. They said they'd be willing to help gays become ex-gays, but not gonna force them against their will.

    That's their opinion, I think what matters the most is that we respect each other's opinions and not force one to move to either side. It is up to them if they want to consider themselves as ex-gays and it is up to us to continue being gay.

    I've come to learn to accept that we are all going to have different points of view, and no one would really win if we keep arguing. What's important is we respect their preferences and they respect ours.

    edit:
    I'd like to add though, that I'm really offended they consider homosexuality as a sin and immoral. Well, it's not really them, it's what their bible is telling them.


    Please post if you have any thoughts on the subject and be as knowledgeable as possible not post stuff like I really don't fucking care about those stupid ex-gays.
     
    #4 total mo, Jul 4, 2008
    Last edited: Jul 4, 2008
  5. Quitex

    Quitex Guest

    Or to chance. You should never deny a possibility that will be always there. As well, they may re-accept themselves. You neeever know.
     
  6. total mo

    total mo Guest

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    I'm don't quite get what you mean. :confused:
     
  7. Quitex

    Quitex Guest

    It is just me in a mood <.<
     
  8. beckyg

    beckyg Guest

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    I wouldn't get into any debates with them. If they want to believe that, its their choice. If they tell you that you are going to hell all you have to say is "You believe that, I don't."
     
  9. MeskElil

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    Okay, on the Bible-says-it's-a-sin thing, just ask them this when they say that: "Okay, so homosexuality is a sin. Ever lied before?"
    And your point is this: we all sin. We all commit sin. And you know what? (I take it they're Christian) That's why Jesus died. Because he loves us and we need to be saved. Because we all sin. And there's nothing we can do about it.
    And check out my really old thread "Interesting Religious View" for another argument in your favor if they start attacking you for it.
    And yes, it is the Bible telling them that, but it's their (and my) religion. So don't throw a "The Bible's stupid" remark at them, because it will only make the situation worse. Trust me. It's happened before. *shiver*
    Good luck!
     
  10. total mo

    total mo Guest

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    Thank you becky and meskelil, suppose you can give me a link to your thread?