hi im 16 and i live in NY (not city) and basically everything is really confusing right now... first i dont know if i am gay bi or straight. i live in a pretty conservative place in the middle of nowhere so everyone thinks everyone is straight. i have liked girls and guys and go back and forth. i think i am opposite a gay person in everything i am a christian, will be a republican most likely, against gay marriage (yea strange right?), against abortion, like bush, everything and sometimes like girls i guess. I think i am that way because of how i was raised. occationally i will make a gay joke to my friends so they automatically think no hes not gay. but then sometimes i think i am gay or at least bi then there is family. basically i have no relationship with either of my parents. i dont talk to them unless i need to be taken somewhere or need something the same with them they dont really say anything unless they are wondering about something. i am the youngest and i dont really think i am living up to there standards even though they wont say it. my sister was one best musicians my high schools ever saw and so i am compared to her and everyone thinks i will be better then her at that. i am good but i kno that i wont be like my sister and i kno that somewhat dissappoints them. my brother was valvictorian of his class. he still isnt struggling with whatever he is taking in college... probably rocket science. i am not jealous at all but i kno when they get my report card they arent as happy as they were opening his years ago, with me struggling with math b. so i am in every advanced course possible to please them in the smartness department. then there is also trying to be my own person so i joined student council and do year round sports, and i like it alot but i kno they dont say they are disappointed but they dont see me like my sister or brother which makes me disappointed. like once my mom was talking to a cousin she had not seen for a while and they didnt kno they had me so she said yea but hes not as smart as the other one. and with that my parents hate each other. its just a matter of time before they get divorced but wont until i graduate i think and then house is gone most likely my mom will move to NC and my dad build a new house for himself. its annoying :dry: i have never seen my parents talk to each other or even stand next to each other. i dont kno what happened becuase in a video when i was around 1 they talked to each other then no more. then friends. i guess im pretty popular but i dont fully trust many of my friends. one of my friends just stopped talking to me after 7 years and another after about 9 years of knowing them. another one openly hates me now because i am a "rich, preppy bastard" he told one of my friends when she asked him why. so i dont trust many people. and then people i think i can trust i dont kno. my family is well off but i wont gloat. when they are annoyed or something they will be like oh just be quite your rich or shutup rich republican... kidding but still annoying. one person was sick so they were tired and stuff so they said oh be quite to everyone and to me said "why arent you in connecticut", meaning a prep school and stuff. its not like i just take it, people tell them to shutup and stuff, make jokes like saying "he cant go to connecticut where would i get my snack money" :lol: lol and telling the kid who hates me they hate him and stuff so basically venting and if you have read all of this wow :lol: i have no idea what is happening with my life i thought it was good but all of this happened and i have realized this in the past 2 years... advice? thanks
I'm in the same boat as you...the confused part. Four of my really good friends, all girls, are interested in my, but I don't have any feelings for them. I keep waiting for the "perfect" moment to tell them, but I keep backing out at the last second. Every time I back out, I feel bad about myself, making me upset. Then it cycles to depression, then I get nothing accomplished, causing further apathy and ugh. I know that telling these people I'm gay would make everything better, but I'm too afraid of the repercussions. And, I don't live up to my parents expectations either. But, they also generally hate me.
Hi Without knowing all the facts, I'm gonna make the suggestion that you may have become so focussed on achieving your goals that you've actually been blind to upsetting people along the way, and the result is that they are now ex-friends. But, repairing these friendships may only be an apology away! It's unwise to make assumptions about what others are thinking. So, if your parents haven't said you're underachieving, than they don't think you're underachieving. I hope that you can rectify your friendships and that you discover that your parents don't have unrealistic expectations on you and that they really love you for you - warts and all. Nick
I'll be blunt. It sounds a little from your post as if your parent have become rather wrapped up in material things, status and achievement and somewhere along the line they have forgotten that parenting (GOOD parenting) is supposed to be about love, caring support and nurturing, above all else. Of course, it could just be that somewhere along the line they discovered that they didn't have enough in common, lost their "spark" or somehow decided to focus on financial wealth and lost the plot on emotional wealth - I don't know. Not to mention that I could also be totally wrong - after all, I don't know you and I'm just trying to interpret the situation from what you have written in a few paragraphs. One thing I will say is that you seem very concerned that: 1. You have to please them 2. You have to conform to fitting into a standardised "label" as far as who/what you are. Now, have a good think about these. You will never be happy unless work out what is going to give YOU fulfillment and contentment...and working that out can take some time (it certainly did for me, LOL). While your parents will have aspirations for you - it is up to YOU to take from them (and everyone else) what YOU need to establish a good sense of values, YOUR OWN goals - and work towards meeting those to achieve what YOU really want out of life. After all - it is YOUR life...not theirs. As far as Sexuality goes - well, it is complex - and probably more so if you are not sure if you fit under the neat "totally hetero" or "totally gay" label. of course, the easiest one to deal with is to be straight (more accepted by society). Being totally gay (and accepting the fact) is probably the next most straightforward - at least you know who/what you are, right? Being Bi is actually far more confusing. Some people are scared to "accept" that they are gay when they really are - so classify themselves as Bi (because it seems a bit "more acceptable"). Of course, if they aren't really this could have a lot of negative repercussions...just read some of the posts here from people in "straight" relationships who have realised that they (or their partner) are,in reality, gay. Even if you are truly Bi, when you are younger, you will likely be totally uncertain and very confused (I know I was). Probably the best thing is to see what "turns you on"...and whether you have had sexual fantasies about both sexes or just exclusively one. If you are still 16 and feel "constricted" by your folks to try and be "what they want" - is there a possibility that you will sometime be going away to college/Uni and may be able to be more open about exploring who/what you really are? Failing that, are they any "Gay/Straight" Alliance type groups nearby that you could maske contact with? I know it is easy for me to say (at my age, the years seem to pass a lot more quickly than they did when I was 16 LOL), but your situation isn't "forever" - and at some stage in the future you will be in a position to meet different people/explore different options. I don't know if this ramble helped - but good luck with it.
