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Defenately Need Some Advice/Support

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Chaz, Jul 4, 2008.

  1. Chaz

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    I've had a hell of a time lately..

    /storyoflife

    Alright...Well, I hope this doesn't sound like i'm trying to just get everyone to feel bad for me, that really isn't what I am going for. But I really just need someone to talk to this about, and I know EC is very supportive.

    I've grown up without having friends really..I have 1 or 2 acquaintances that will talk to me from time to time, but most of the rest of the class either dislikes me or just doesn't want to talk to me. Most of the reason that is, is these 2 people. Both my age, that are leeches. I don't know how they originally learned I was lonely and wanted friends, or that I had a terrible phobia of being alone...But they did. So for the last 3-4 years now they have been using me. I'll explain "using"

    Kids here spend the night at other peoples houses, a lot. I was always the one who had to buy the pop for the night, carry the stuff (before I got a drivers licence) to my house, and then clean up the stuff they leave behind the next day (they have no respect for anything). I got my drivers licence in march, and law in Illinois, I don't know if it's the same everywhere, is that until you've had your licence for a set time (I think it's a year or two) you can only have 1 other person in your car thats not related to you. They've forced me so many times to take 2, 3, 4 other people in the car. I know it might sound stupid to some people, but I really hate breaking the law, even if it's as small as that. Even if it is a few dollars here and there, i'm sure they've gotten probably $200-300 out of me since we've known each other.

    Anyway, the reason most of the people don't want to communicate with me is because they spread such stupid rumors, but for some reason, everyone seems to believe them. I don't want to tell about WHAT the rumors are..they are pretty explicit..But they make people defenately want to stop talking to me.

    This went on all up until last night. I stood up to myself as much as I could last night, and they ended up basically getting $20 out of me before this, harassing me an entire night, and leaving by saying I should kill myself and that I am ugly and will never find anyone in life because of that, and I am a faggot. This really hurt..because 1, that really hurts my self-esteem. And 2, I mentioned the phobia of being alone..I don't have anyone to talk to, at all, about this. So I'm just really depressed and confused and feeling hopeless right now.

    Any help would be appreciated for this, because I have no clue what to do from this point on.
     
  2. -Michael-

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    You're not alone.

    Many people feel this way.

    We're here.

    :slight_smile:

    Feel free to PM me for anything :slight_smile:
     
  3. MeskElil

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    It's hard being alone. I know it. I had to spend all my school years up to high school with only two friends.
    The only reason it got better for me was because I changed schools (going to high school) so it's...not that helpful, I know.
    But here's the thing: #1: Don't hang out with them anymore (but I think you've already figured that out).
    #2: Join a club or group or something. Talk to people. Be a little outgoing, but be yourself. Just put yourself out there...just not your neck.
    #3: Just be comfortable with yourself. Do what you like to do (writing, reading, listening to music, whatever) and immerse yourself in...yourself. Do what you like to do and have fun, and let it show.
    It will show, and people will see that you are a fun person.
    Don't think of yourself as the victim, and don't openly show anger toward these people. Because that's what they want. They want to get inside your head and exert their power. Don't let them. Be nonchalant about stuff...and be wary. Know that, contrary to popular belief, in many cases human nature is bad. And so be careful of people teasing you and whatnot. If they insult you, laugh. Just shrug it off.
    I know it's hard. I had to do it for two years. And want to hear my success story? The girls had to split apart to go to different high schools, and now I have a circle of friends and the other girl is the "nerd". I talk to her and include her in things. She still tries to get the upper hand on me, but it doesn't work. Because I know I have something that she doesn't: confidence obtained by means of being nice to myself and others, instead of by putting other people down.
    I hope that helps. Good luck.
     
  4. EthanS

    EthanS Guest

    :eek: (*hug*)Thats just mean telling you your ugly and to kill yourself because you wont do what thye say.. ..:***:
     
  5. Psychedelic Bookmarks

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    You really really need to dump these jerks! That is a given. And you need to learn the self-esteem to enjoy your own company. It's not so bad being by yourself, because you don't smooch money, cause problems/guilt, or insult yourself, right? So surely you are a better companion than those bastards?

    The sooner you tell them where to get off the sooner you can reclaim yourself from their lies and abuse. It will help your self esteem to realise you don't need them, at all. You're fine by yourself, and you're a good person (better than they are).

    And once you're got a litle self-confidence and a little self-esteem other people, who are worth your friendship, will begin to notice you. When you feel ready, you should go out there to those people who "don't want to talk to me" and just try to socialise a little. You'll probably find that it's not that they actively dislike you, they just have never really noticed you. You have to be brave.

    So please, please, before anything else, dump those wretched jerks and get used to the fact that being by yourself is fine, cos you got all you need inside you, brother! (*hug*)
     
  6. Chaz

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    Thanks everyone for responding. I am feeling a lot better since I posted this, mostly because I got it off my chest. And it's really nice to see that people are willing to help. If anyone else has advice/comments, please post them, and thanks everyone! (*hug*)
     
  7. acorn7

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    Wow, those people are really horrible. I'm glad you can stay relatively distanced from their abuse, but I agree with the others that you should definitely dump them completely and not accept their crap. There must be some people in your surroundings that aren't jerks.

    Don't let them get you down!

    And at least, rebuild your confidence and do stuff that you like doing, be proud of yourself. If you don't find anyone right now, know it's just temporary and you can always to come to us for advice and more :slight_smile:
     
  8. BookWorm

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    ok, first off, most people don't like to be alone and you were right to get out of that kind of friendship, if it made you feel guilty, used or uncomfortable as it did, you should NOT be in it, or doing it...and if i was you, i would go and try to meet new people, they don't have to be at YOUR school, they could be at another school or even just people down the block. You should NOT kill yourself and don't pay ANY attention to people if they say that you're ugly or you're stupid or you should go and jump off a cliff because for all you know, they're just jelious of you. You say you got your licence and they made you go and drive them around, so they either don't have a car or a licence of their own so they like the fact that they know someone who can get them around. You also said that they got lots of money out of you probably because they don't have the money and if they do, they're just scum and i would tell them. infront of lots of people at school, and make a big deal about how they are just mindless scum who use people and spread rumors that aren't even true and that THEY are the ugly buggars that should go kill themselves. But that's me, if you mess with me or my friends, i will come for you...lol, jk, sometimes.

    you might also want to talk to a trusted adult like a teacher, parent, or councler about this and see what they can do without you getting beat or something by these kids because remeber, YOU are a million times more important then they are and i'm sure that if you went down the halls and streets in confidence, people would respect you for it, and just mihgt want to be your friend. Even if you don't feel confident, people showing you respect will definately GIVE you that confidence.

    Hope it helps. and if it's any consolation, i've always got your back:icon_wink(*hug*)