So basically for around 4 years or so I have been saying Im gay. The only problem I have is coming out towards my parents. I'm always thinking about it then it seems I dig myself a ditch. My father will see a gay/ lesbian person on TV and call them "Rainbow People". This pisses me off on multiple occasions but kept my mouth shut. Another reason I'm hesitate to come out that he will be dissapointed about possibly never getting grand children. Also, I have a sister that's a year older then me. So if I could get some friendly advice I would love you all. (*hug*)
Maybe you could start out small with your father, ask him what he would think if you never wanted to have children. His reaction towards "rainbow people" could be just for kicks, my father hates african americans & latinos; and used lotsa derogatory terms for them (he's kinda redneck, sorry that not me!) but when in high school I dated an african american for 3 years, and almost got engaged to a latina, before I came out. He never said anything bad, or thought bad of me, because of my choice in dating. (however I have yet to come out to him about my female mind lol and my change) and so what if we're "rainbow people"! rainbows are fabulous =p
If you think you sister would be supportive, you might come out to her first... And if your dad is pissing you off when he says "rainbow people," you might just ask him why he does that. That's not coming out--it's just having a conversation about a social issue. It might help give you insight into how he might feel about you being gay. And being gay doesn't mean you won't have children. Lots of ways around that if you want kids.(&&&)
You could initiate the conversation by wearing a T-shirt with a rainbow and "Ally" on it and see where that goes. The "never getting grandchildren" concern doesn't work that way any more, but that doesn't mean that the concern doesn't need to be addressed at your coming out ceremony, if it actually IS a concern to him. There never is a guarantee of male grandchildren to carry the family name forward anyway.
Hey if you feel uncomfortable talking about you could always try writing a letter to him so you have said everything you want to say
Well thanks for the advice coming to the site was a good idea to come here. I proabbly be talking to my sister first because she has a few friends that or openly gay. I will proabbly talk to her the next time where in the car together without my parents. Also, what should I do if they don't believe I'm gay. I used to act like I like girls but never had a sexual attraction to them only guys.
Once you tell them, start living like you are gay. They will believe you when they see you kiss your boyfriend in their living room.
"Rainbow people"... never heard that one before. Does he say it because he's homophobic or because he doesn't know any better? My grandad used to refer to asians as p**** and corner shops as p*** shops but I'm sure that's because he didn't know any better. I'm not making excuses for your dad, he might genuinely be homophobic, but it's something to think about. And I agree with what the poster above said about the "no grandchildren" argument not washing with him. There's adoption and all sorts. Even if your sister turned out to be gay, he would probably still end up with grandchildren. There are loads of modern families nowadays. Like I said to someone before, try planting ideas ahead of time. By that I mean be subtle about your sexuality and see how he reacts. After a while he should start figuring out that you're gay and then the shock factor won't be as noticeable. If you think your sister's gunna be more supportive then come out to your sister first.
