Hi, I'm really deep in the closet as I come from a pretty religious and asian family. I also think of myself as a romantic and am waiting for "the one" to come into my life so yes I am a 30 year old virigin (I have watched plenty of porn though so its not like Im a babe in the woods). Anyways, because of the community I have grown up in, I have not told ANYONE about being gay and play off the single straight guy for the most part. About 3 years backl I went back to college to finish my degree and met a guy I thought of as a really good friend. I have stayed in touch with him after graduating back in 2012 and he graduates school this year. I have always thought him to be really handsome and I love many aspects to his personality. He always struck me as straight laced and I figured "Oh well another guy I can at least be friends with" and I was happy with that. Things have changed though in the last few months. Back in this past summer, he skyped me late after getting back from his summer job at home (nothing out of the ordinary). The first time we did skype, he eventually dared me to be shirtless which was no problem as its hot and I sleep shirtless anyways. He did likewise. He then dared me to go bare ass, which totally caught me off guard. I told him if he did it, I'd get him lunch on me. My friend did so and showed me he did, although he did cover up his bait and tackle to which I laughed and sort of freaked about cuz I didnt think he'd actually do it. He dared me to do so as well although I chickened out (I have body image issues from being fat as a kid). The next skype I took up my courage and just briefly flashed him as well and that was it. This skype we had threw me for a loop. He came home from work late and seemed to either be drunk or deliriously tired or something. He said "I about to do something stupid" and completely stripped. He then stood up and I essentially talked to his wang for like 7 minutes. He covered his cock and balls with his hands, but he was definitely poking and peeking. Even occasionally fluffed himself a few times. The called timed at at one point and I had to reconnect. He immediately started saying how he was "being an idiot and stupid" for doing that and kept promising to never do it again. The next morning, he texted asking if we had skyped last night and saying he doesn't remember doing so, although I know he remembers some as I did bring up some stuff we talked about and he remembered. Fast forward a to now and we have made many of our skype sessions as a lot of teasing about stripping or mooning each other. In person since that crazy skype session, he has been a bit of a "hug whore" which I dont mind at all. One time as I was leaving campus from visiting him while he had been working on a project, he hugged me and also said "I love you bro" with an extra squeeze for emphasis. Just recently, while we were in his dorm, we were chilling in his room after shooting a silly short video and afterwards while we were just chilling out, he put his foot on my knee (I was sitting in his chair, he sat on top of his desk) and wiggled his toes. He asked if it tickled to which I replied, Im not ticklish at all. What followed was the basic "How bout this?" while Im just shacking my head nope. He then made one final touch by putting his foot on my bait and tackle to which I hastily responded NOPE! Do you think he is gay and possibly likes me as well or is this just a young guy messing around with his buddy and Im just being too hopeful?
Aw sh:***:t man, it's all going to hell now. You can't come out. In all seriousness I don't even know. Ask him.
I'm afraid of asking and being completely wrong and potentially outting myself...I'm not ready to do that as I've only just comes to grips and accepting myself as being gay only a few years ago
Considering that you're already good friends, ask him if you could trust him with a secret. If you think that you could trust him, just tell him about your sexuality and see how he reacts. It will be difficult, but there isn't much else for you to do.
listen, I know how it is to be ASIAN, but I don't know what it's like to be religious...i'm 27 and I've been deep in the closet for a long ass time. I've come across many moments with guys...which I felt like they really liked me back, but me pushing them away because I wasn't completely "OKAY" with the whole gay thing, I just wasn't ready for it. But even though they never told me they liked me, they did things which showed me otherwise. Even then, I didn't know 100% sure what they were. But that attraction and tension, it's too much to the point that there has been something but either one of us couldn't accept it at one point. Between guys, it gets really complicated because we don't know whose ready and whose not...basing off what you said he could be curious, he could like you, you won't know unless you ask him....but even if you DO ask him there's a lot of risks that comes along with it, are you aware of these risks? If you want to go about this a better way, and you completely trust him I know this is really hard because you're a late bloomer. You can come out to him first, and see what happens after. That way it saves you from asking about his sexuality which could potentially scare him off. Is this your first "incident" with a friend you thought that could be gay? Good luck buddy! keep us updated! Oh, I want to add another thing since you said you just came to terms with yourself only a few years ago. Think about this: What are you looking for if this does work out with him? Are you okay with starting a relationship with him? Are you okay with what comes after? Get to know yourself better in this sense of with a guy, to see if it's worth taking these risks.
I am going to be the cold water guy in this scene and and say, "Dude, you are 30 years old and have accepted being gay for 'a few years'; you are wasting your life away." I can do that because I did the same thing myself, so I am telling you it is well beyond time to come out for you, and you might as well do it with this guy, who A) you like as a good friend who will likely support you, and B) seems to have something going for you in addition to friendship. Whether or not he is gay and interested in you, you still need to get on with living your life the way nature intended for you. I know that in Asian family cultures, you have a closer connection to your parents than some others do, but you can't sit around waiting for your parents to die so you won't have to tell them you are gay to begin living your own life. Maybe this is "your guy" or maybe he isn't, but either way, you need to find your soul mate and start living, and he is a good place to start.
