Ok, so here is the dilemna. Saturday night i am going out to a bar with friends from work. I am not out to any of them. The problem is that there will probably be a good bit of drinking. The thing is when i go drinking (which isnt alot), i tend to not be able to control what i say all the time. The other problem is that there will be a girl there that always flirts with me and has even said that she wants to do stuff that night. So, i know the easy answer is to not just drink that much, but i really just want to relax and have a good time, its been a while since i went out with them and its been kind of a bad week and i want to have 1 night where i can just not think about things. Im not really asking for advice, im just kind of venting. But i am scared that i am going to just let it all out. And how do i refuse that girls advances without telling her the truth? Thanks
Hi there! I'm glad you decided to write your thoughts out. I can understand the dilemma, and you might go in a bit more nervous than you usually would be, but I am sure things will be fine in the end. Maybe you will be able to seize a possible opportunity to be more open about yourself as well. Hope the evening will go well for you though. (*hug*)
This seems like the easy one to me.. I'm just here with my mates, so not tonight. Just not interested tonight, but, thanks, I'm flattered. I think she'll get over it...
You say you've told your wife? Either you're married, or you're going through a divorce, so it sounds like you already have a pretty good excuse to reject her advances.
I agree with Pluvia. Unless you want to come out to work friends, you don't owe any explanation other than you're not interested if the issue comes up. And, as long as you haven't overindulged and can safely drive (assuming you're driving) there's no reason, if things get too uncomfortable, to just call it a night and leave. I can definitely relate to the drinking loosening up the restrictive shell of the closet. I find myself chastising myself whenever I'm talking to someone, especially a guy, because I'm smiling so much my face hurts, I talk a lot more than usual and more engaged, and let loose with the gestures (hand and facial) that surely must be a dead giveaway if it weren't for the ring on my finger... To cope with the stress of going out for drinks, I just knock down a couple Sapphire & tonics, a black russian, and scotch on the rocks to get things warmed up. (Yeah, i've never been a cheap date for drinking, never did like beer, and wine is just for appetizers and dinner, right?) After that, I couldn't give a flying :***: .... until it hits me later.... :eusa_doh:
You probably do need a night out, but unless you are ready to come out to them, you might ought to volunteer to be the designated driver.
