Coming out to parents/family

Hey

So I'm in love with my girlfriend sind about 5 months and we're together since more than 3 months.
I had a girlfriend before, some years ago (I was 16/17, I'm 21 now) but it was a long distance relationship and looking back I wouldn't really call it a relationship. My ex was depressed and suicidal, I think I hadn't really sexual feeling for her. We hadn't sex either, we just kissed. Anyway I believed some time ago that I loved her and I told my mom about her. She didn't reacted as accepted... she told me that she knew about it (that I have a relationship with my ex) and she "tries to accept it". After this talk she didn't ever asked me anything about the relationship. I broke up with my ex after it got to complicated, we lost contact and yeah, that was it. After that I always told myself that this was a phase and that I'm heterosexual. About one year ago in a conversation my mother said (laughing) "Do you remember when you had 'a relationship' with xxx? Hahaha". I told her to shup up. This was the only time she ever mentioned this relationship again.
I think she wasn't really against me being with a girl. Okay, that was also a problem (since she can't wait for me to get a perfect boyfriend and so on...) but I think the main problem was my ex, since my mother really didn't like her (because I got emotional problems myself because of my ex...). My mother isn't homophobic.

Another important thing to mention is that I love my mom so much. We have such a good relationship.
I think this is one reason why I'm afraid to tell her. I know that she won't kick me out or something horrible like that. But I know that she expects something else, a guy, and so on. And therefore I know that she will be shocked for the first time. And I'm so afraid to see this little "disappointment" in her eyes. I know this is stupid, but I feel this way.
I'm so happy with my girlfriend and I want to let my parents and family know that I'm happier than ever. But I really don't bring this word out: "Mom, I have girlfriend."
I think I'm also a little bit afraid that she won't take the relationship serious after the thing with my ex.

I'm so frustrated because of myself. I really want to tell them but somehow I can't. :icon_sad:

I don't know how anyone can help me since it's a problem I have to deal with myself. But maybe someone knows this kind of situation? And just writing about it can help a little bit, I think...

Oh and another thing: My girlfriend also didn't tell her parents yet. But it's because she doesn't know how to bring up the topic, she isn't really a person who talks that much. Would be the same problem if she had a boyfriend. She knows that her parents are totally okay with her having a girlfriend since her sister has a girlfriend since years now, too. And I think her parents already know, because they hear so much stuff about me an things. :lol: My girlfriend also understands that I didn't tell my parents yet. She's so sweet, she always tells me that it's okay and that I should take the time I need..
But all of our friends already know about us. I had no problem coming out to my friends. Don't know why it's such a problem for me with my family...

So yeah... um... so much for the beginning...

 

Thank you.
Yeah, my girlfriend is more than great, I'm really lucky to have her.

 

What do you guys think about writing a letter? I think about this all the time but onthe other hand a letter always seems so dramatic. And not knowing when they'll read it also makes me very nervous.
But today I feel again very shitty because I haven't told them yet. But I don't think I have the courage to tell them this evening and tomorrow I'll go home (I live in another city, I just stay at my parents house sometimes at the weekend)

... I'm so confused. :/