I really want to come out because I feel like I am living a lie and it distracts me from everything I do including homework etc. I came out to my 2 best girl friends and my cousin. They both took it very well and they like me even more now. The problem is that I really have no clue how I am going to tell this to my family. They are not homophobic or anything but it would destroy my mothers view of my future. So I though that maybe it is a good idea to tell my sister first ( she has no problem with it, that is something I know for sure) and then together with my sister I will tell my parents. The problem is that I have no idea how or when it is a good time/place to tell my sister this. She is 22 and I am 16 so I don't see her that often. And once I have told her I really don't know how I can bring the news to my parents. Any advice?
Well, I can't give too much advice on coming out to parents as I plan to do so tonight (aaaaaaaaaaaaa) and still haven't told my sister. I totally understand why you would want to talk to your sister first, although if you (a) want to do it in person, and (b) won't see her for a while, might you consider telling your parents first? It'll be harder to start with the biggest members of the family, for sure, but the upshot is that you get it off your chest earlier and can stop being distracted all the time. I've been nervous enough about the family thing that I have even avoided calling my parents and sister to make plans, opting instead to wait until an opportunity arose organically (which, fortunately, only took an extra week). As far as simply bringing the news to your parents? The way I see it is you have two options. You can tell your parents now, your mom will go through some small upheavals in her idea of your future, which, depending on where you live, might be as simple as substituting future wife for future husband, and then things will probably be cool, since you say they aren't homophobic. And then you can relax and get on with the rest of your life. Or, you can ignore it for a long time, wait for other people to just stop having ideas of what your future looks like, and then come out when the shock is more the timing than anything. I don't recommend that one
First I want to say good luck with your coming out tonight!!!! and I think I will come out monday when my parents and sister are both home during diner. I am sure they will take it not that bad but pffffff it makes me so freaking nervous! I think it is best to tell everyone at the same time because then my mother doesn't have to take the information in alone. I live in the Netherlands where people are very open minded about things like this because most dutch people only care about their own life ( wich makes this country boring but easy to live in ). I just can't hold this in anymore because it feels like I am lying 24/7 to my family
Thanks. My parents are sweet and non-prejudiced so it'll be fine, but I totally get it - it doesn't really calm the nerves as much as one would hope. And, yeesh, you're Dutch? That's pretty much the chillest environment to have to come out in. Congrats! Hope it goes well. And I absolutely relate to the 24/7 lying feeling. It's gross. I'm very much looking forward to that being over, as I'm sure you are as well.
Awesome news! Congrats! And I came out to my parents today, slightly later into the weekend and substantially more nervously than I had planned, but it went exceedingly well other than that.
